Nightlife

Nearly nude partying comes with some unusual concerns

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Where is my Visa? Tao Beach provides lockers for nearly naked partygoers.
Photo: Sam Morris

Nightlife requires a special skill set—there’s the mathematics of proper bottle service tipping, mnemonics for remembering which floor of the parking garage your car is on and spatial skills for figuring out how to navigate through packed crowds or around endless lines—but some parties require more brainpower than others.

At some parties, you find yourself nearly naked ... with a wallet.

Where do you stash your cash, cards and ID when you’re donning nothing but tighty-whities at your favorite gay bar’s underwear night? Or when you are (barely) wearing a string bikini at the hottest pool club? For many, these scenarios end poorly—with someone stealing the purse you prayed was well hidden in those bushes or some potential date asking what that square lump next to your testicles is. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Tyler Caiden, entertainment director at Krave and self-described pusher of parties where dudes show up in their skivvies, says he’s seen guys shove their wallets and cell phones right into their underwear.

“It never ends well,” Caiden says. In times like these, he suggests a designated carrier, someone willing to stay fully (or more or less) clothed in order to protect whatever belongings the group cannot simply hold in coat check. “If you have a f*g-hag friend, that’s perfect. She’ll have a big purse; she can just hold everything.”

Meanwhile, Tao Beach Director of Nightclub Operations Hing Yip Yim says he has seen women use their cleavage as a pocket and guys tape their wallets to their biceps—neither of which he recommends. “We encourage guests to use the lockers and safes,” he says, referring to the pool’s storage facilities, accessible by code and paid with a credit card. Parting with your cell phone for that long might cause a bit of technological withdrawal, but that’s nothing a few poolside mojitos and house music won’t fix.

One Easter-weekend partier got clever with her belongings at Tao Beach, carrying her phone, money and sunglasses in a festive Easter basket. Because, hey, if you have to lug it around without pockets, you might as well own the look.

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