Rockhouse going out of business? As if!

It seems Rockhouse Bar & Nightclub is doing its spring cleaning a tad late this year. Then again, owner Jonathan Fine celebrated his Imperial Palace ultra-dive bar’s official grand opening just shy of its three year anniversary.

Unfortunately, that delightful tire swing is not on the market.

In the interest of storage space, those kidders at Rockhouse will be hosting a “Going out of business sale”—mock, of course—every Tuesday in May beginning tonight, 10 p.m.-5 a.m. The “Everything Must Go!” beverage bargains include select bottles, which will be flying off the shelves for as little as $25, with two-for-$5 beers, $5 Jager Bombs and Cuervo margs.

And just to keep the good-natured confusion alive, enjoy “Grand Opening” specials every Wednesday with two-for-one well drinks and domestic bottles and $5 shots all day long. Sometimes going out of business can mean big business—just ask the pawn shops.