NUTCASE 1: I AM the only thing you know that is doing anything about space racism! I am the Martin Luther F--king King and the Malcom X of space racism!
Nutcase 2: I'm not a space racist, I'm a speciest.
Nutcase 1: The alien in Alien was the good guy. Like John McClane in Die Hard.
Nutcase 2: I don't like dolphins or that rabbit you're talking about. Harvey? Evil. I don't care.
Nutcase 1: (To me) Who's the hero in Alien?
Me: Sigourney Weaver.
Nutcase 1: Space racist!
Me: What do you mean? She was part of a group colonizing this empty planet. Then the aliens attacked.
Nutcase 1: Wrong. WRONG!
Nutcase 2: Aliens is Die Hard, but on a spaceship. But the alien is John McClane.
Nutcase 1: He and the alien are in the same deal. [Sigourney] is motivated purely by money. They go onto this planet, walk into this alien's lair, separate it from its family, then chase it down with flamethrowers. They didn't give a shit about the people. They were concerned about bonuses.
Nutcase 2: In Die Hard, Gruber and the terrorists come into this building, separate McClane from his family. Gruber didn't give a shit about the people or who got killed. And John McClane is like, "Hey, you're screwing with my family!" Like the alien.
Nutcase 1: (To me) Just admit you're a f--king space racist.
Nutcase 2: What if a grizzly bear walked in here right now? A polar bear walks in a straight line. They don't deviate. And that's the truth.
Me: What's that got to do with space racism?
Nutcase 2: If a polar bear walked in here, and you were in its way, it would walk right over you.
Me: And the connection to space racism?
Nutcase 1: Because if an alien walked in here and all it was doing is walking, like a polar bear, you'd be like, let's get the townies together, let's kill it! Get it!
Nutcase 2: When all it was doing was walking. You don't f--k with a polar bear.
Nutcase 1: (To me) Space racist.