Why does this film exist? Who exactly saw The Whole Nine Yards four years ago and cried out for a sequel? Sure, that forgettable story of a less-than-reformed mob hit man moving in next door to a spastic but affable dentist made a respectable $57 million. But nowadays, is that all it takes to get producers thinking franchise? Or did they simply think this script was too good to pass up?
Doubtful. The story plays out like a series of increasingly peculiar non sequiturs, as if the minds of the screenwriters were set free to wander. Scenes seldom pick up where the last ones left off, just as the whole film doesn't quite pick up where the first ended.
The original closed with Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) sparing his buddy Oz (Matthew Perry) because he was just too nice to kill. They split their newfound millions (the titular nine yards) and took off with their girlfriends. This time, Jimmy starts out disliking Oz for no reason, and they forget the first film made them rich, so they set out to net more millions (the titular ten yards).
The humor is all over the map, with everything from situational humor to fart jokes. Some of it works, much doesn't, but it's not predictable. The overall plot is, but there's a lot of meandering between plot points. A scene may start with a hostage situation, proceed to an unrelated quarrel, result in a hit man professing his love for God, and then Oz will turn to the hostage and say, "You've got a really long face. Seriously, it's like a horse."
You never know what the characters are going to do next, often because it doesn't make sense. Obviously, they get the ten yards. Hopefully, they'll remember it this time. I'd rather not watch them go after the whole eleven yards.