STATE OF THE CITY |
Putting the Free in Fremont Street The U.S. Supreme Court this week declined to hear an appeal of the lower-court ruling that granted First Amendment privileges to the Fremont Street Experience. Give me your protestors, your petition-gatherers, your huddled pamphleteers yearning to hand out free porn, the wretched refuse of your teeming escort industry. Send these, the homeless, the anti-Oscar to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door. |
Hey, More Cash for the City's Money-to-Burn Fund!
The city of Las Vegas may not be awash in loot, but that's the impression given by the program handed out during Mayor Oscar Goodman's State of the City address last week.
$10.2 million: Saved via expanding the jail-bed rental program.
$6.1 million: Interest-rate hit avoided by selling $25 million in municipal bonds.
$5.9 million: Lopped off last year's information technology bill.
$450,000: Realized by contracting local attorneys to represent poor defendants.
47 percent: Reduction in amount of copies made.
24 percent: Reduction in time lost from employee injuries.
$11 million: Sales tax revenue to be generated by the Las Vegas Premium Outlets.
More than $33 million by our Enronrian estimates.
God 0, Gaming Control Board 1
From a January 12 R-J story about a Las Vegan who won a disputed Quartermania jackpot: "I thanked God ... I felt God. I say my prayers every night, and He's promised me a good life if I do right, and I do right, so I thanked God."
Mysterious ways, indeed! However, state gaming officials and a judge ruled the jackpot invalid, since the Quartermania symbols weren't centered on the payout line.
Max Non-Factor
In the tradition of political aspirants demonizing incumbents comes the Chip Maxfield Conflict-O-Meter. Created by County Commissioner wannabe Jerry Tao, the Conflict-O-Meter features a red pole that rises and rises and rises, topping out at 148—the number of votes Maxwell's abstained from the past three years (listed on www.jerrytao.us).
Doubling up, a Tao mailer that recently hit households questions Maxfield's cajones on the Red Rock Station casino debate—"I don't want to have to be the one to make a decision," Maxwell said during a contentious meeting the casino's height.
While Gray Matters appreciates good, clean mudslinging, we'd be remiss for not warning the county deputy district attorney job against waking sleeping incumbents. Maxwell may look choirboyish, but he can sharpshoot with the best of them. Lois Tarkanian's still smarting. (Maxfield failed to return a call for comment).
Local Cockroaches Crawl to Bronx, Do Pacino
The Cockroach Theatre, Vegas' most dippy and daring band of guerilla actors, has turned its scary gaze toward the play that launched the career of Al Pacino. The Indian Wants the Bronx— playwright Israel Horovitz's drama that bowed off-Broadway in 1968 and starred future Corleone sibs Michael (Pacino) and Fredo (the late John Cazale, who also played Pacino's droopy bank-robbing buddy in Dog Day Afternoon)—will be mounted at the Katherine Gianaclis Park for the Arts January 23-February 8. Bronx, a searing piece about prejudice and blind rage, tells the tale of of an East Indian, lost on his first day in New York and speaking little English, who is idling at an isolated bus stop when two street punks start teasing him. Growing nastier, the abuse finally explodes in an act of extreme violence.
A troupe that's made a specialty out of exploring the dark corners of the human heart, the Cockroaches are sure to leave audiences singed and smoldering with this incendiary piece of social outrage.
Skip the popcorn. If you want munchies for this one, we'd suggest the super-sized Valium (and don't forget to ask about free refills).
News Release That Made Us Just Freaking Delighted To Be Alive
"Positive Thinking DOESN'T WORK"
from Lee Watters, a self-help book author.
Best Use of a Thesaurus and Subtlety to Describe Imposing Specimens of Manhood
"They are elegant, graceful, brilliantly handsome, radiant, magnificent, sublime, resplendent, dazzling, glowing, gorgeous, superbly imposing specimens of manhood. Each impossibly perfect. Blessed with the innocent arrogance of those in possession of achingly chiseled muscles, smoldering ambition and complete physical independence. They have been buffed, trained, worked on, worked out, choreographed, staged and presented for the sole purpose of entertaining women. They are a well-oiled and sadistically drilled machine that is furiously determined to raise the bar on the current concept known as audience participation. They exist for their audience and their audience only."
—
From a news release about Chippendales men.
Top Five Reasons We're Glad That The Princess Diana Exhibition & Royal Museum is Relocating to Vegas
Princess Di Progressive Slots!
Lady Di London Broil Buffet!
The Lady Di Stripper-Pole Suite!
Lady Diana's Topless Dance Revue!
Tasteful tribute to a much beloved member of the royal family.