They’re AllTalk

Most bathrooms are bigger than this place. It's tighter than the FCC's ass in here. But, hey, all you really need is a microphone, chair, control board, warm body without laryngitis and an engineer who doesn't nod off during commercial cues, and you're cookin'. Amenity-free means overhead-light, right? Still ... global broadcasting out of this flyspeck of a room?

Well, not broadcasting, actually. Webcasting. The "alltalkradio" tells you what they do. The "dot-net" tells you where you can hear them. The corner of Rainbow and Washington is where you can find them. Just don't bring your posse, pal. Tough to shoehorn 'em in when Sassy the sex-talker—who sometimes does more than merely talk—goes topless, bouncing a pair of double G's. However, we think the lesbians stay clothed. Even while explaining their unclothed exertions.

Janet's jugs traumatized the Protectors of the Public Airwaves into a two-year-and-counting fining frenzy. But in here, the FCC is MIA, muthaf--ker.

Surely you'd cough up extra coin to hear that. But you needn't shoot checks over to XM or Sirius. Got a computer? Double-click, Slick. They live at alltalkradio.net.

"What drove us from AM? Brains. We smartened up," says George Carson, cofounder of alltalkradio.net with Millian Quinteros, a pair of ex-KLAV jocks who jumped from on-air to online radio in 2004, a move that multiplied their range from the far corners of Summerlin to the far reaches of Somalia. On the Web, the world's within earshot. Once they find you, anyway. As technology leapfrogs, listeners are splintered between old-style dial-roamers and new-age Google-grazers. But there's little doubt that the latter's where tomorrow lay, and where—amid the messy thicket of satellite, digital, terrestrial and streaming options that cross the eyes of broadcasters and throw the industry into transitional chaos—these two have parked their dreams.

"You're going to have more in common with people on our network than with Sean and Laura and Rush and Howard, the ones always put up on a pedestal," claims Quinteros. "We have real people here with real voices. We have people who have left other radio stations to come here, others who've never spoken into a microphone. And everybody finds their own niche."

Craving an uncensored soapbox? They've got your scene if you've got the green. A monthly fee of 400 clams buys a live webcast and a site announcement of your show time. Another $100 puts you on cell phones with five hours of the real carrot they dangle: archiving, the listen-on-demand deal they're sure will doom their over-the-air, hear-us-now-or-never competitors. At $650, the archived hours double, with more fees buying more perks, such as iPod placement. Don't have a trust fund from which to draw? That's where that ancient radio practice—selling air time—enters the equation.

"It gives them a chance to sell their own advertisements," Carson says, "instead of us coming in, telling them how we want the show run, and if they don't like it, hit the bricks."

But while local radio begets local advertisers, online radio widens the net. "I try to hit the dot-coms and dot-nets for our listeners all over the world," says "Baby," co-host with her radio/life partner, Schree, of On Your Mind (where "the lesbians come out at night"). "Not that I don't love Las Vegas people, I still have Las Vegas businesses. But I also want people in Bangladesh and California and New Zealand to be able to partake of my advertisers."

"Our show is just our life on the mic—you either love us or you don't," says Baby. "We're just two crazy people, crazy in love. She's black, I'm white, I make fun of blacks, she makes fun of whites." Like their benefactors, Baby and Schree are local AM refugees who chafed when chastised for their provocative inclinations. "The station manager said to us: 'I want you to pretend that my 8-year-old daughter is listening.' What kind of adult lets their 8-year-old listen to our show, even if we're censored? So we censored ourselves; I don't have $100,000 for saying 'shit.'" But at alltalk, they found not only freedom from their bosses, but tolerance from their co-yakkers. "Surprisingly, there are all kinds of shows—Jesus shows, health shows, whatever, and we all get along. The Jesus shows aren't up our ass because of what we're saying, everybody just floats along."

"We're going to step out of this world temporarily to assist you to feel your own presence. Focus on the beautiful presence of the hand, which is also the vibratory levels of the bone matrix ... the atomic/subatomic principle. Then you can feel the beautiful buzzing throughout the body as it climbs and climbs, going through every particle of your being, which is also bypassing the mind, the perceptions."

Alltalk's lineup challenges the definition of "eclectic," some shows raw and raunchy, others as pure as the driven AM chatfest. Among the entries dotting the 30-plus program roster—Las Vegas Little Black Book (male-targeted what's-happeninig guide to Sin City); Muscle/Hardbody Radio; Coffee with Caryll (morning conversation); Crusin Pat (travel); Growing Your Business; God Loves You; Know Your Rights; The Blue Line (hockey); Wild Side (outdoor activities); Sin City Radio (Sin City Chamber of Commerce); Chef Max Attacks and The Mentalist. About 95 percent of the programs originate out of alltalk's breadbox of a studio. A few are patched in over phone lines from other cities. "You want local, you get local," Quinteros says. "You want national, you get national. You want international, you get international. ... You walk into this room, you hit the world."

"OK, so we're back, we're here in the studio, and I'm stroking Tom's c--k."

Tom wasn't the only one enjoying himself. "People love the masturbation show on the archives, that's my most downloaded show," says the onetime jazz DJ and mother of two toddlers now billing herself as Sassy Tease, who spends the second half of her show exposing her mammoth mammaries to her guests' eyes and listeners' imaginations. "I set the traditional boundaries: no children, animals, feces, urine, and no hatred. But I've been spanked on the show, people squeeze my boobs, I put my boobs in people's faces, I have fun. I've met a lot of nice people."

And the in-studio activities she calls "play?"

"You have to be a guest to see what goes on in the studio. Some shows are mellow, others more extreme, it depends on the guest and how much they want to play. Some people are like, 'Hey, I'll show you whatever you want to see.' I have porn stars on, but also regular people. You could be on the show."

We're mulling that over, Miss Sassy.

"We're pretty much of a family business," Carson says, straight face in place. "My niece is the best board-op we've got, and she's 15 years old." No, she doesn't board-op Sassy.

"We had a priest who wrote Sassy an e-mail telling her he thought it was great what she was doing," Carson recalls.

"My job is talk radio," Quinteros says. "It's not my job to silence people."

Local radio dials have a finite number of stations that can wrestle for supremacy. Online, it's potentially infinite, and already numbers into the thousands. How can alltalk penetrate that maddening mass to make its mark? "If you take out all those that are talk, it wouldn't even be a whole percent," Quinteros says. "Everybody started out the same way—FM, everybody hated it in the beginning," Carson adds. "People came on before us doing it out of their basements, letting the door open for people like us to make it into something mainstream."

Then again, the occasional alltalker plans on doing the Carson-Quinteros dance in reverse. "I kept seeing their advertisement in your magazine.," says Dave Pagillo, the KnowItAllDave Show host. "I thought I'd give it a shot. It's pretty cool. I'm better than most of the talk-show hosts on AM radio. I've applied to a couple of places on AM radio but haven't gotten any responses. I'm looking for a job, not a hobby. On alltalkradio, it's something you do on the side. I'd like to start a career."

"Regular women are no different anymore from the traditional kind of prostitute these days. ... We all know the term 'con man.' Where are all the con women? They're all over the place. They'll con you into anything from a lap dance to signing your name on a lease to signing for a car ... They can screw you over. They could murder your best friend, but later they'll act like the whole thing never happened."

Women are his biggest fans. So he says. No jive. "Women can't get enough of it, they're addicted to it. They have reservations at first, but as they listen, they can't help but like it," says the unmarried, self-proclaimed "King Christopher."

"There are a lot of problems out there with male-female interaction, and I'm the authority. I see things in a very crystal-clear way. If I get worked up about an issue it's because I know this is how it is." Well, after 25 years of living, he should ... shouldn't he? "(Women) aren't used to anyone really telling the truth. The show's about women, because that's where the power is. ... Men and women are making monsters out of each other."

Boundary-pushing? Certainly. Boundary-breaking? Surely. Boundary-obliterating?

"There's nothing really weird going on," Carson says. "No sex." Adds Quinteros: "We have a no-genitals policy."

At some point, as if never briefed on the policy, Sassy says she's waiting to perform oral favors on the sound guy. On the Web, it can be hard to know where the boundaries really are.