There are times when I'm playing Madden NFL that I feel like I'm getting blitzed by menu screens more than I'm getting blitzed by the opposing team, but I tolerate it because once I'm on that field, I get to enjoy a satisfyingly thumb-twitching game of football. So here's NFL Head Coach, which piles on even more menus, allowing you to nurture your players through practice, tweak the lineup, set up your plays and audibles—and when you finally get to the snap, the A.I. plays the game for you. Huh?
To its credit, the game really does feel like an accurate coaching simulation, and since there are gamers out there who inexplicably enjoy performing farm chores in Harvest Moon or scrubbing toilets in The Sims, there are likely football fans who will delight in the mundane micromanagement inherent in guiding NFL superstars. But each iteration of Madden typically adds more management modes, so Head Coach merely feels like a newer version of Madden, but a broken one, since it takes the ball out of your hands just as the fun begins. And I came to play.
URBAN CHAOS: RIOT RESPONSE by SCi GAMES/EIDOS (3.5 stars)
Platforms: PlayStation 2, Xbox.
Rated: M.
In this first-person shooter, it's hard to tell if the chaos is caused by the foul-mouthed, chainsaw-wielding gangs or your own T-Zero (as in zero tolerance) police squad. Whether you're tasering hockey-masked delinquents long enough for them to burst into flames or blowing up entire city blocks, you're often causing more destruction than your foes. But then, reading Miranda rights isn't nearly as effective a guilty pleasure.
MICRO MACHINES V4 by coDEMASTERS (2.5 stars)
Platform: PlayStation 2.
Rated: E.
Back in the days when people still collected Micro Machines, this game would've been mind-blowing just for its selection of 750 vehicles. But the novelty of racing tiny cars over counters and tabletops has worn off by now, and the franchise's enduring camera problems will have you tiring of these races faster than the guy who did the Micro Machines commercials could talk.
WORLD TOUR SOCCER 06 by SONY COMPUTER ENTERTAINMENT (3.5 stars)
Platform: PlayStation Portable.
Rated: E.
Opting for more of an arcade style, this sequel to World Tour Soccer awards extra points for good showmanship, and with a solid control scheme, it's surprisingly easy to show off that fancy footwork. Some of the load times feel almost as long as the years between World Cups, but this is still one of the most fun ways to play soccer while still using your hands.