ARIES (March 21-April 19)
When the path ahead divides in two, Aries, I am hoping you can work some magic that will allow you to take both ways at once. If you do master this riddle, if you can creatively figure out how to split yourself without doing any harm, I have a strong suspicion that the two paths will once again come together no later than August 1, possibly before. But due to a curious quirk in the laws of life, the two forks will never again converge if you follow just one of them now.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
I see you as having more in common with a marathon runner than a speed racer. Your best qualities tend to emerge when you’re committed to a process that takes a while to unfold. Learning to pace yourself is a crucial life lesson. That’s how you get attuned to your body’s signals and master the art of caring for your physical needs. That’s also how you come to understand that it’s important not to compare yourself constantly to the progress other people are making. Having said all that, Taurus, I want to recommend a temporary exception to the rule. Just for now, it may make sense for you to run fast for a short time.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
If you fling handfuls of zucchini seeds on the ground of a vacant lot today, you shouldn’t expect neat rows of ripe cucumbers to be growing in your backyard in a couple of weeks. Even if you fling zucchini seeds in your backyard today, you shouldn’t expect straight rows of cucumbers to be growing there by June 1. Let’s get even more precise here. If you carefully plant zucchini seeds in neat rows in your backyard today, you should not expect ripe cucumbers to sprout by August. But here’s the kicker: If you carefully plant cucumbers seeds in your backyard today, and weed them and water them as they grow, you can indeed expect ripe cucumbers by August.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
“If we want the rewards of being loved,” says cartoonist Tim Kreider, “we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.” How are you doing with this trade-off, Cancerian? Being a Crab myself, I know we are sometimes inclined to hide who we really are. We have mixed feelings about becoming vulnerable and available enough to be fully known by others. We might even choose to live without the love we crave so as to prop up the illusion of strength that comes from being mysterious, from concealing our depths. The coming weeks will be a good time for you to revisit this conundrum.
LEO (July 23-August 22)
There’s a piece of art on the moon: a ceramic disk inscribed with six drawings by noted American artists. It was carried on the landing module of the Apollo 12 mission, which delivered two astronauts to the lunar surface in November 1969. One of the artists, Leo maverick Andy Warhol, drew the image of a stylized penis, similar to what you might see on the wall of a public restroom. “He was being the terrible bad boy,” the project’s organizer said. You know me. I usually love playful acts of rebellion. But in the coming weeks, I advise against taking Warhol’s approach. If you’re called on to add your self-expression to a big undertaking, tilt in the direction of sincerity and reverence and dignity.
VIRGO (August 23- September 22)
The planet we live on is in constant transformation. Nothing ever stays the same. To succeed, let alone survive, we need to acclimate ourselves to the relentless forward motion. “He not busy being born is busy dying,” was Bob Dylan’s way of framing our challenge. How are you doing with this aspect of life, Virgo? Do you hate it but deal with it grudgingly? Tolerate it and aspire to be a master of it someday? Whatever your current attitude is, I’m here to tell you that in the coming months you could become much more comfortable with the ceaseless flow—and even learn to enjoy it. Are you ready to begin?
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
“It isn’t that I don’t like sweet disorder,” said English author Vita Sackville-West, “but it has to be judiciously arranged.” That’s your theme for the week, Libra. Please respect how precise a formulation this is. Plain old ordinary disorder will not provide you with the epiphanies and breakthroughs you deserve and need. The disorder must be sweet. If it doesn’t make you feel at least a little excited and more in love with life, avoid it. The disorder must also be judiciously arranged. What that means is that it can’t be loud or vulgar or profane. Rather, it must have wit and style and a hint of crazy wisdom.
SCORPIO (October 23- November 21)
I have three sets of questions for you, Scorpio. First, are you anyone’s muse? Is there a person who draws inspiration from the way you live? Here’s my second query: Are you strong medicine for anyone? Are you the source of riddles that confound and intrigue them, compelling them to outgrow their narrow perspectives? Here’s my third inquiry: Are you anyone’s teacher? Are you an influence that educates someone about the meaning of life? If you do play any of these roles, Scorpio, they are about to heat up and transform. If you don’t currently serve at least one of these functions, there’s a good chance you will start to soon.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22- December 21)
According to my reading of the astrological omens, you should draw inspiration from this Chinese proverb: “Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.” In other words, Sagittarius, you need extra downtime. So please say NO to any influence that says, “Do it now! Be maniacally efficient! Multitask as if your life depended on it! The more active you are the more successful you will be!” Instead, give yourself ample opportunity to play and daydream and ruminate.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)
In Raymond Chandler’s pulp fiction novel Farewell, My Lovely, his main character is detective Philip Marlowe. At one point Marlowe says, “I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun.” In accordance with your astrological omens, Capricorn, I’m asking you to figure out how you might be like Marlowe. Are there differences between what you think you need and what you actually have? If so, now is an excellent time to launch initiatives to fix the discrepancies.
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18)
There’s a slightly better chance than usual that you will have a whirlwind affair with a Bollywood movie star who’s on vacation. The odds are also higher than normal that you will receive a tempting invitation from a secret admirer, or meet the soul twin you didn’t even know you were searching for, or get an accidental text message from a stranger who turns out to be the reincarnation of your beloved from a previous lifetime. But the likelihood of all those scenarios pales in comparison to the possibility that you will learn big secrets about how to make yourself even more lovable than you already are.
PISCES (February 19-March 20)
Author Eva Dane defines writer’s block as what happens “when your imaginary friends stop talking to you.” I suspect that something like this has been happening for you lately—even if you’re not a writer. What I mean is that some of the most reliable and sympathetic voices in your head have grown quiet: ancestors, former teachers who have remained a strong presence in your imagination, animals you once cared for who have departed, and maybe even some good, old-fashioned spirits and angels. Where did they go? I suspect they are merely taking a break. They may have thought it wise to let you fend for yourself for a while. But don’t worry. They will be back soon.