Even though it’s defunct, we shouldn’t let a brilliant idea go to waste. Here's what we think the stripper-mobile should display, why and possible conflicts that may arise.

Deposed UNLV coach Mike Sanford

Why it's a good idea: Program will finally get the attention it—hey, the Runnin’ Rebels are playing!

Potential public decency issue: Might hold another angry press conference

Alleged phone freak John Fredericks

Why it's a good idea: Trapped in airtight box, no cell ... dog-owning single women could relax

Potential public decency issue: Do people really need to see another tableau of desperate self-humiliation?

Showgirls!

Why it's a good idea: Not strippers. still hot.

Potential public decency issue: Threat of additional moral posturing by county commissioners

Ensign's hair

Why it's a good idea: We finally get to see his good side.

Potential public decency issue: Bald Ensign on the loose!

All 63 state lawmakers, guv

Why it's a good idea: Until you people fix some shit, you’re not getting out. (No, we won’t let lobbyists in, either.)

Potential public decency issue: None we can think of.