He’s a birthday party ... all over your face.
• Silky black wig, fake mustache and goatee (unless you have naturally Aoki-fab hair)
• Sleeveless shirt that says “Eat Sleep Cake Repeat”
• Tight jeans
• Tight sneakers
• Big-ass headphones
• Birthday cake
• *Optional: inflatable raft
Sell the illusion: Jump as high as you can, as often as you can. And look surprised.
The schoolgirl, the snake—we’ve seen it. You could copy one of the costumes from Britney Spears’ Planet Hollywood residency, but why not break the mold (and probably the law) by echoing her 2003 Esquire cover echoing the ’66 shot of Angie Dickinson in just a sweater and heels.
• Blonde wig
• White sweater
• White stilettos
• Underwear and nylons (because it’ll be cold; because nylons are a few threads shy of your fave leggings; because you want something between you and that taxi)
Sell the illusion: Make searing eye contact. If possible, have a great ass.
It’s been around since the ’90s and still hasn’t been outdone by a taller building in Las Vegas. Respect. You could just make a T-shirt that says, “Mine’s bigger than yours,” but if you’re going to be explaining your costume all night anyway …
• Sturdy shoes
• High-waist white bellbottoms
• Sequined silver tube top
• Red top hat
Sell the illusion: Wrap your hat in battery-powered lights, and occasionally scream like tourists losing their sh*t on the SkyJump.
The sex educator and owner of Detroit's Spectrum boutique brings her humor and expertise to AVN.
“Compared to my Ohio life, people are more positive here, more responsive to literary things.”
“We break down all the barriers that led them to become homeless, so they can become self-sufficient and sustain on their own.”
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