Remembering to wear green today comes pretty easily — all it takes is a pinch from that weird guy in accounting that has been looking for a reason to touch you for months — but did you remember your rubber?
No, we are not talking about that Trojan stuffed in your wallet. We know that is a lost cause, and we think you secretly do, too. We are talking about rubber bands, because today, in addition to being that Irish holiday Americans love to celebrate, is Rubber Band Day.
A little history: The rubber band was patented in England on March 17, 1845, paving the way for rubber-band balls, makeshift slingshots and, more practically, keeping stuff together. Whether it was using a rubber band to tie back your drunken suitemate's hair while she puked after that bitchin' frat party or placing one around your teenage wrists to snap whenever you felt a panic attack coming on, everyone has benefited from these underrated elastic bands.
So, before you partake in corned beef and bar fights, give rubber bands their due. Or, if you really feel like celebrating, bounce over to the Spring Valley Library from 4-5 p.m., where they are celebrating Rubber Band Day in style with cool crafts and rubber-band shooting contests.