Lance Armstrong loses to Oregon cyclist in second annual Cross Vegas. Testing afterward showed evidence of several Strip buffets.

FBI raids nine sites around the Valley as part of homeowners associations investigation. Okay, okay—we’ll trim the red yucca on the side of our house. Happy?

O.J. Simpson laments USC loss while arriving at his trial. Meanwhile, his lawyers lamented the fact they had to defend O.J.

UNLV loses to UNR. No word on how O.J. feels about it yet.

Clark County Republican Party spokeswoman removed from her post after saying the Democratic Party made black people dependent on government. Republican Party subsequently called sexist for firing a woman.

Georgia-based Bill Heard Enterprises closes two Las Vegas auto dealerships. Poor schmucks. Thank goodness this economy thing isn’t affecting us, huh?

Las Vegas wants to cut $65 million in labor costs over the next five years. We’d recommend starting with the guy who buys Oscar Goodman’s olives.