LETTERS

Hey, Ease Up on the Millionaire Weirdo, Will Ya!

It seems nothing brings out the fight in some people like an insufficiently worshipful article about Michael Jackson. Josh Bell's arch account of the Gloved One's recent charity appearance in Las Vegas (October 30) prompted a couple of irate responses, the first requiring substantial editing to be minimally readable. We trust that's not indicative of MJ's fans generally.

The article on Michael Jackson you wrote is shit. Why did you even show up to the signing, you asshole. I hope we meet in Vegas, and by the way, what is wrong with liking cleavage? Are you gay? I mean, it's kind of weird to be scared of being hugged by a guy, but then thinking someone's weird for lookin' at tits. I bet you are gay. I bet you even got an autograph, you f--ker.

Oh, yeah, and by the way, you f--kin' idiot, the cameraman's the guy with the ties to gay porn. He's not the producer of the song. I dont know if you saw, but Michael produced it. Just so you know. Maybe next time you'll do a little research, gumshoe.

Editor's note:
Josh did not, in fact, get an autograph. But then, he didn't show his cleavage.

The pathetic, desperate one is you!! You moron.

Leave Michael Jackson the F--K alone, and if he is sooooooooooo creepy, don't go to his events or even write about him. It is that simple.

You racist media idiots never cease, do you?

Editors note:
Idiots we may be but racist we are not. Nothing in Josh's story supports that casual allegation.

Unnamed Michael Jackson Fans May Hate Us, But We're Loved in Alaska!

Greetings from Alaska! I wanted to send kudos along concerning your 112 Word Story feature [October 23], which my best friend down there alerted me to. I'm the calendar editor and writing contest coordinator for the Anchorage Press, Alaska's largest weekly rag. I wanted to cast my vote for "Ennui for the Senior Set," although I also really liked "Dentist," "What's Driving Ed?" and "Soundtrack to Mary." "Criticism" made me laugh. As a side note, we were impressed by your cover art. Naked buttocks are all right.

I enjoyed the feature and will keep my eyes peeled for the outcome.

Keep up the great work.

Editor's note:
Thanks, Renée. Your votes in the short-short story contest have been duly noted, then completely disregarded in the most blatant vote-rigging scheme this side of Chicago. The lead vote-getter is Editor Scott Dickensheets' "Criticism," 1,209 votes ahead of the nearest competitor.

Good Advice!

The following arrived addressed to Wink columnist Sonja:

Just wanted to drop you a quick note and tell you how much I enjoyed your columns. Every time I pick up the Weekly, yours is the first column I read.

I guess things have changed a lot in the dating world when you have to spring for dinner and then put out later. Hopefully you will be able to find a guy who drills your lights out on a regular basis and still picks up the tab.

I don't know if you have thought about it or not, but if you're looking to get laid without the emotional entanglements, you might consider swinger. Generally, most swing clubs and groups love to have extra girls. As cute as you are, you would have your pick of the guys (and girls?) and you wouldn't have to pay for dinner! I'm sure that you are aware of the on-premises clubs in town, and usually single girls get free or inexpensive admission. The good thing about partying is that there is little phony BS, and if you don't like who you are with, just kick him out of bed and try another.

Keep up the good work, and I look forward to your next article.