I absolutely despise negativity. A couple of weeks back, I did a less-than-cheerful write-up on Ra's launch party for its new Wednesday, Flaunt. I hated writing it. I much prefer to skate along, doing Entertainment Tonight-style reporting. As it turns out, it was just that particular party which upset me; Flaunt is worth checking out. Still, it left me thinking, As much as I love the scene, what don't I like?
First up is boredom. I don't care if you've got Jesus Christ and John Lennon doing a tag-team on the turntables, Marilyn Monroe shaking her moneymaker in the go-go cage, and Helen of Troy doing body shots, the party can still be boring. If J.C. and J.L. are spinning the same tired, predictable MTV play list, then it's boring.
The cure is to come up with new ideas, get artistic and wild, and for God's sake, don't copy the other guy. Tabú at MGM started doing its Boutique fashion shows Wednesday nights with great success. Now there's Ra's Flaunt, Studio 54's Dollhouse, not to mention Ice, Risque, Baby's and Mist.
Something else that totally sets me off is the hat thing. You can wear an orange cowboy hat, but not a beanie? A $100 trucker cap, but not a backward Kangol? I just don't get it. And you never, ever see a bouncer tell a lady to take her hat off, regardless of what kind of hat it is. Whatever happened to sexual equality?
Idiotic policies aren't restricted just to the clubs. Some patrons need a swift Red Foreman kick in the ass. These guys aren't hard to miss, hanging out in a bunch for courage, on the edge of the dance floor. A lovely lady passes by, and one of them grabs her by the arm, and pulls her in so him and his pals can try to get their game on. It never works and the girls hate it. I've got lady friends who worry more about avoiding the roofies-colada set than meeting nice, regular kats. You might as well throw some feces, you damn, dirty apes.
Going out is about blowing off steam, hanging with your friends, getting down, and possibly meeting a groovy lady. It's about fun. And the good things about the scene totally outweigh the bad. Spearmint Rhino is always free for locals. Eight bucks at Drai's gets you a vodka and 7 that's eight times bigger than anywhere else. And Tabú's hat policy is: as long as it's fashionable, it's cool, meaning I can wear my bloody beanie.
HEADS UP!
Be sure to check out DJ AM at Rain during Thursday's Drenched. Rain musical director and resident DJ R.O.B. tells me that AM is, "one of the best that I've ever seen." There aren't many who know more about club life and DJ skills than R.O.B., so I feel inclined to take his word for it. You should too.
And that Pleasuredome and Paul van Dyk gig next week? Well, it's sponsored by Rock the Vote, so all you chuckleheaded club kids who didn't vote in 2000, get your asses registered. Rock out to van Dyk and do your civic duty, damnit!
Antonio Llapur walks softly and carries a big club. E-mail him at [email protected].