Those who have stuck with this column from the start—thanks Mom!—have likely picked up on a few biases. For instance, you know I'm not a fan of the 49ers, Rams coach Mike Martz, Ben Affleck movies (except for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) and tree-hugging liberals who believe we should peacefully negotiate with terrorists but execute any American who earns more than $200,000 a year. (Not you slightly to-the-left libs; we cool!)
Well, here's something else you should know about me: I have no use for idiots. Zero, nada, zippo. I'm not referring to those who have the occasional brain fart—you know, the girl who honestly believes he's going to call the next day, the guy who actually does or even the family that chooses to live in Reno. No, I'm speaking of people who would, say, double-cross Steve Wynn, intentionally tune into Mark & Mercedes or bet against the New England Patriots.
As to the latter point, the Patriots aren't just 11-1 this season and winners of 26 of their past 27 dating to last summer; they're a spread-covering machine, having gone 14-3-2 vs. the number in their past 19 games, including 8-1-2 this year. It's to the point that federal agents are investigating New England coach Bill Belichick for rubbing Barry Bonds' special cream on his head.
Seriously, picking against the defending Super Bowl champs is like picking against Microsoft. You can't win. … So I'm picking against the Patriots this week, taking the 11 points with the suddenly surging Bengals. Look, I could sit here and rationalize the selection, but I'm sure there's nothing I could say that would convince you. Besides, I gotta run: Mark & Mercedes' show starts in 20 minutes.
Vikings -6 vs. Seahawks Here's how I feel about the plummeting Seahawks: I'll believe Bonds' contention that he had no idea he was taking steroids before I'll believe this team will dig its way out of its hole anytime soon.
Redskins +9.5 vs. Eagles Sure, I've lost a few bucks going against the Eagles this season. But I'm comforted in knowing that I'm less than two months away from getting it all back—and then some—after Philly's annual choke in the NFC Championship game.
Panthers -5.5 vs. Rams Honestly, I haven't seen a group resurrection like the one the Panthers are enjoying since, well, I gotta go back to Aerosmith in the late 1980s.
Best Bet Packers -9.5 vs. Lions. Your two can't-miss gambling tips of the week: Bet against the UNLV basketball team the moment you say to yourself, "You know, these guys are pretty good," and bet on Brett Favre the week after he and/or his team gets thoroughly embarrassed.
Last week: 2-3 (1-0 Best Bet)
Season: 36-29 (6-7 Best Bet)