I'm a 34-year-old woman who recently broke up with her boyfriend of 15 years. Long story short (well, kind of), we had a love-hate relationship and he continually dabbles with speed. He decided to leave me after getting involved with a much younger (17 years) "woman" who also has a penchant for self-destruction. I'm back at home with my parents, feeling terrified because, frankly, I don't know if I'll ever be happy or meet someone. Don't even know if I want to. I'm very close to my parents, and if my they pass on, I'll be left lonely and incredibly devastated. Believe me when I say that I feel I am bound for an institution because of all the thoughts going through my head.
The breakup was very ugly, even though I know we had grown apart. Even though he was involved with drugs, I am able to accept my share of responsibility as he was. He was not a "bad" man; we just had serious issues that we couldn't get past. I am curious about your take on all this. I go from the strong woman I know I can be to being an emotional wreck. It doesn't help that one minute I'm wishing him well and the next hoping he's miserable. All we need is happiness. Also, I fear he may be screwing up his life or something. I'm a wreck—so your opinion is welcome.
L
Dear L,
He is screwing up his life. The life-path his spirit chose this time around is about doing things the hard way. He doesn't trust people who are kind and thoughtful and takes advantage of them to prove (to him) that there really is no "good" in this world. What we seek, we usually find. His level of esteem is so low that he thrives on bringing out the worst in people (and I can even see him bragging about it). YUCK! Good riddance to bad rubbish. I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about him!
You, my fair maiden, need to create a total rebirth of yourself. Do not communicate with him or anyone connected with him. Change all your phone numbers so you are not tempted to talk to him (he only calls when he wants something).
I would really like you to connect with Narcotics Anonymous (they probably have a support group) so you can explore why you were so willing to settle with a man who does not have the capacity to love you. I must insist on some sort of therapy or support group for you, because you've allowed yourself to get so distracted by this "man" that you think that that's the only form of love available to you.
I promise that things will get better for you by April. Be open and receptive to how help and love are coming to you from all directions. There are three new friends who you will make beginning in May, and you four have a strong connection that will last the rest of your lives. Your parents aren't going anywhere anytime soon, and their commitment to you on a soul level was to make sure you're OK before they do. When you step on the path to your own self-healing, you'll be amazed by how much strength you truly have.
Career Moves
Dear Mystic Mona,
My future is up in the air. I no longer have a job and must find a new one. I want to know what my job prospects will be. Will I find a decent job with comparable pay, or will it be a major struggle? I need to provide for my family and feel completely lost. I am both excited and nervous about going out in the job market but feel my fear will not get me anywhere. What does the future hold for me?
Lost in Las Vegas
Dear Lost in Las Vegas,
I'm really glad that you don't work at that awful job anymore; there were a lot of politics and it really was no fun. I want you to take the job where you have considerable freedom and other people aren't taking credit for your work. Whatever your past work was, you can go to either a higher level of management or some type of outside sales. It's very important that the new job situation gives you more freedom. Do not be tempted by the exact type of work that you did before, because you'll hate it after six months.
Write down all the details about your dream job. Write about the hours you want to work, the salary you deserve, the people you want to be with, the title of the job and the feeling you have when you go to work. Do you want to be the leader of a team or do you like charging out into the world and having a supportive base? You get to decide—put this list on your refrigerator with a magnet. You'll have good news with your career within the next seven weeks.
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Mystic Mona is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, "Psychic View," airs10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM. You may e-mail your questions for consideration to [email protected].