STATE OF THE CITY |
Whipping Girl Does Janet Moncrief hate her job or what? After taking what she feels is quite a beating recently, the freshman city councilwoman hit back with a (grammatically, syntactically and punctuationally challenged) press release: "Since taking office at City Hall, it's a very difficult to properly serve my constituents who elected me. I tried to prevent the city from giving away free land in my ward; that should have been paid for. My motion to prevent this failed and the council voted in favor of giving the land away. "The city bad promised over many yean to keep Buffalo Dr., a residential corridor. The motion on behalf of thousands of my constituents., who contacted my office to keep the area residential, but this motion also failed and the city voted to make it commercial. "When asked to have Cheetahs topless club closed because it's owner confessed to a felony, and I don't feel it's in the best interest of my constituents to have a criminal element in their ward; that idea was ignored, by giving me reasons that didn't make common sense to me. "This coming Wednesday's meeting I am again going to demand that Cheetahs liquor license be revoked immediately. I hope unlike in the past when my other motions have failed that this time the council will follow through and vote with me." Lady's got some issues. After all that she's been through, this nurse who shocked the city by trouncing Michael McDonald for the Ward 1 seat, could Janet Moncrief be nearing her breaking point? From the moment she took office, accusations have been sucking at her like ticks: dirty campaign tactics, unreported expenditures, shorting teens who worked for her, driving drunk and more. She's been harrumphing and loudly exhaling in frustration lately. First came her opposition to John Moran Jr.'s alley, then Irwin Molasky's Social Security building, both of which passed the council with no problem. Now she's stomping her feet about Cheetahs. Is the question will she succeed?—or is it how much more can this woman take?
Kate Silver |
Maybe You DO Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows
Wind info from two websites, 2:30 p.m., December 31:
AOL local home page: 0 miles per hour, from the southeast.
Silver State Federal Credit Union home page: 0 miles per hour, from the north.
Gray Matters on the Scene: Stalking J.Lo on the Down Low
The ramp outside of the Hard Rock's high-roller area filled with tongue-waggers, jaw-slackers and star-f--kers, peering around the hulking security guards who blocked each entry into the blackjack pit. Something was going on inside. Something that starts with a B, ends with an R and has an "ennife" in between. "Clear the ramp!" security screamed at the gawkers. One began speaking rapidly into a walkie talkie and pointing at a woman with a disposable camera. The woman moved slowly up the ramp, tucking her camera away and nonchalantly stood outside near a bar a few feet from the gambling area. Here she could still get a good view of J.Lo and Ben Affleck, and their playing partners Matt Damon, J.Lo's mom and sister. She seemed content to stand at this distance, but then security, who'd been blocking the entryway, got momentarily distracted and the woman was in, tighter than J.Lo's jeans, standing behind the five of them, beaming. She watched unnoticed for about five minutes, until security demanded that she leave, which she did, with no fight. To see the look on her face, you'd think she'd just met Jesus, or maybe Elvis, or, well, Bennifer. About an hour later, the couple stood up and left the pit, escorted by security. The woman was right there again, camera out, joining a veritable line of paparazzi mice as they followed the Pied Pipers around the casino, reveling in the stars that make Las Vegas that much brighter.
Ahnold Impacts Speech Patterns of Las Vegas Children
"It's not California dreaming anymore! It's Caul-i-fornia dreaming!"
—12-year-old girl riding bike around Henderson parking lot
Vast Food Nation
The votes have been tallied, the pounds counted and the verdict is in: We're a bunch of fat asses. In Men's Fitness magazine's sixth annual survey of the nation's top 20 "Blubber Belt" cities, Vegas rated 20th, up from 18th last year. (Dallas took top prize.) Other locally oriented survey findings:
Culprits: Buffets, fast-food joints, casino eateries
793 to 1: Ratio of people to fast-food joints
2nd: Alcohol consumption per capita
2nd: Rank in number of sporting goods stores
3rd: Rank in number of health food stores
5th: Rank in number of gyms and fitness clubs.
However, the magazine fails to account for the Butterbean Effect, defined in scientific terms as the impact one large, shirtless-at-the-buffets boxer can have on an entire city's fitness statistics.
An Open Letter to Jason Allen Alexander, a.k.a. Mr. Britney Spears
We're going to level with you, Jase: Your time is already up. You signed that annulment and now you're not even the next Cris Judd. There won't be any reality shows or VH1 talking-heads specials for you. We know you're Brit-Brit's "childhood friend" and all, but think of the money, man. Before you signed on the dotted line, you should have imagined the possibilities. Of course, there's always that Christina Aguilera. We hear she's easy.
Department of Tooting Our Own Horn
Follow-up to Richard Abowitz' November 27 column on local bloggers:
From Josh Ellis' blog, Zenarchery.com, November 27, 2003: "When the Weekly gets as many readers as Zenarchery does, I'll start taking them seriously."
From Zenarchery.com, December 31, 2003: "In the period of 1/1/03 to 12/31/03, Zenarchery has logged 509,293 hits!"
Note: A "hit" counts every item on the page, plus the page—if there are three pictures, a logo and the page, that's five hits.
2,042,982: Lasvegasweekly.com page impressions in 2003—that is, full pages served. "Based on the number of graphics on the site," our techies tell us, "you could probably multiply this times seven for 14,300,874 hits for the year."
Hey, Don't Punish Us for Croc Hunter's Sins!
A KMXB 94.1-FM disc jockey, outraged that "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin took his 1-month-old baby into a croc pen to feed the beasts: "His wife and the zoo should be reprimanded for allowing that stunt to take place. And now, stay tuned for some Bon Jovi."