Here at the frequently frivolous Weekly, we don't have time to read books, what with all the bacon martinis, porn conventions and other local issues that demand our editorial attention. And we certainly don't have time to write thoughtful yet incisive reviews. But we do have time, when not engrossed with Joshua Ellis' mother's weblog, to look at book covers and deduce their contents.
The Finished Man
By Sean Murphy
Bantam Dell, $13
This reminds me of the time I wandered out into the desert, ripped out of my skull on peyote, and a giant futurist sculpture appeared in the sky before me. I think it was Boccioni's "Unique Form of Continuity in Space." Whatever. All I clearly remember is that it made me incredibly nauseous. Since the book's title is The Finished Man, I can only assume that the story picks up where my ill-advised foray into Native-American vision questing ended. But, as the Picasso is of a woman and the title refers to a man, the tale evidently goes a little further into drug-induced gender issues than anything that happened to me. At least, anything that I'm willing to discuss in print. According to a line on the cover, Sean Murphy has written another book, The Hope Valley Hubcap King, evidently about a wino who rides on his bicycle, looking for stray hubcaps he can sell for some MD-20/20. From drunken scavengers to junkie transvestites, Murphy is carving out his niche in the literary world.
The Cloud Atlas
By Liam Callanan
Delacorte Press, $22.95
A floating armada of white balloons drifts over a cloud-strewn mountain range, each with some sort of oddly shaped structure dangling beneath. Maybe we're still reeling from the news of a Narnia movie, but we imagine this is the tale of a brave hero, a beautiful Sky Kingdom princess and a monkey, and their adventures in the cities hanging from the giant balloons. There's doubtless a traitorous vizier plotting to bring the aerial empire down into the mountains, where the evil dwarf king waits. The blurbs on the back seem to confirm this, especially the one from author Gary Krist: "The Cloud Atlas is an elegant, elegiac novel that turns one of the most bizarre episodes of American history into a fable about the collision of innocence and mystery, practicality and faith. A fascinating debut." To our minds, there is no more bizarre episode of history than when the future of this great nation rested in the hands of an unknown hero and his monkey companion.
The Song of Names
By Norman Lebrecht,
Anchor Books, $14
The color lavender plays an important role in this tale of a psychotic violinist who stalks women foolish enough to walk their dogs down impossibly narrow alleyways. (We know this is in black and white, but trust us, the cover is lavender.) But as important as lavender is, it's not to be outdone by the Circles of Great Consequence, proclaiming the book to be "An Anchor Books Original" and "Winner of the Whitbread First Novel Award," an honor certainly not to be confused with those given out by vanity presses for a particular price. We know Lebrecht to be a Serious Author as, on the back, he is wearing the requisite black T-shirt and the photo is cropped into his head. Edgy! But what is a Serious Author doing writing a pinkish book about crazy fiddle-players, hmm?
Martin Stein
Jennifer Government
By Max Barry
Vintage, $12.95
A bar code and an eye without a face—two images that endlessly concern Americans, the first for its intimations of corporate big-brotherism, the second because it evokes the songbook of Billy Idol. Something about this cover says "wicked and wonderful" and "fast-moving" and "funny." That would be the blurb from the Washington Post that you can't read because we run these pictures so damn small. The author, Max Barry, is said to be Australian, but his photo on the back doesn't show him dangling an infant near a crocodile, so the Aussie thing could just be more hype. Publishers will say anything to sell books these days. The plot—something about futuristic capitalism run amok—inspires a back-cover blurb by Entertainment Weekly ("a riotous satrical rant") that completely overlooks Barry's missed opportunity: Bennifer Government! Talk about your futuristic thrillers! But at least this book made Dick Adler of the Chicago Tribune "laugh out loud," and maybe that's enough.
Scott Dickensheets