Not surprisingly, last week's cover story—a tale of date rape, written by Sonja, our relationships columnist—elicited a huge response. Readers hit every point on the spectrum, from sincere expressions of support to the caller who asked, with genuine concern for the Weekly's soul, "Has the word 'hoax' entered your mind?" "My choice to share this was something I was completely torn about," Sonja says. "I had to ask myself, am I ready to deal with the backlash?" Many of the negative comments had to do with Sonja's failure to report and prosecute the man. "Although it may not have been in a timely fashion, I did in fact speak with the police in the city he is from (not Las Vegas). I was informed that because I showered, because I opted for silence, because there was no physical evidence left, it was a he-said, she-said case. If there are other complaints on file, a red flag will be raised. If not, then there is a paper trail if he does this again."
Is Sonja incredibly sexy? YES. Is Sonja an incredible flirt? YES. When Sonja (or anyone else for that matter) says "No," does that mean "No"? YES.
My heart aches for my friend (and for the countless other victims who choose to remain silent) who feels as though she did something wrong. My heart breaks to think that some terrible individual continues to breathe free air simply because his victim mistakenly thought she did something to deserve what he did to her.
John Fredericks, Meteorologist
KVBC Channel 3
I'm sure you're going to get bombarded with letters from women on date rape. It's an identical story to mine, only it was 25 years ago. I can still see his face, and it's like it happened yesterday. I saw him a couple of days later, and he walked up to me and tapped me on the shoulder with a big ol' smile on his face. I looked at him and said, "Get the f--k away from me." He looked at me like I had 10 heads and said, "What's your problem?" That's when I knew it was his character flaw, not the fact that I had slow-danced too close or flirted too much. But it still made me feel horrible. It's too bad you couldn't mention his name.
As a staunch feminist, SHAME ON YOU—after you're raped, you choose to wash away the "evidence" (and not call 911) "because no one will believe you." How could you be so pragmatic at this devastating time? If you are not skipping an important fact, it's females like you who allow these creeps to continue their crimes with impunity.
Sonja, I'm so proud of you for having the courage to tell your story. You are giving women permission to speak so they can heal from the pain. God bless you!
I am glad that Sonja was courageous enough to write about her powerfully important story and that the Weekly cared enough to print it, as a cover story no less. This article reminded me why I have continued to read the LVW since I left Vegas.
Years ago, I learned from my female friends that rape is much more common than most people think. It is particularly important to highlight the real tragedy of rape and the damage it does. Women are often objectified as sex objects while men are still admired for their aggression and forcefulness.
We men must of course realize that women are people with the same feelings we have, and nothing is sexy about aggression unless the woman clearly indicates her desire for it. On many dates, particularly first dates, she won't give you the green light for bodice ripping (unless you're with a professional dater).
I suspect this advice falls on the converted, but go into a bathroom to engage in self-abuse before risking prosecutable (and reputation damning) sexual assault charges by proceeding with a woman unless you are very certain what she wants.
As an avid reader of LVWeekly and Sonja's column, I am numb with anger and so terribly saddened to read about Sonja's assault.
Date rape is real, but the criminal-justice system in this country treats the victim as a repeated felon when her sexual history is scrutinized. No wonder rape is the most underreported crime committed. Just look at what Kobe Bryant's accusor is going through.
I applaud Sonja's courage to share her story with her readers. We love you, Sonya, and care about you, and I hope you take this further and pursue this cowardly bastard to court so he faces up to his despicable crimes.
As Mike Tyson learned, NO means NO, damnit!
The fact that Sonja was willing to pose for the cover in a way that deliberately contrasted with the sexy party-girl pose in an earlier issue underscores the difference between the two situations. Celebrating one's sexual nature, as she did in the first cover, is not inherently "exploitative" anymore than all heterosexual sex is rape.
Which is what makes it that much more important to stress the difference when rape does occur.
I'm not a huge fan of the Weekly, but I admire Sonja's guts.
What an arrogant bastard this guy is. Sonja's persona doesn't suggest she's a whore. Her writing is pure of heart and her confidence in her body doesn't scream, "Hey, Mr. Lucky, come cure me of all my tortured romantic mishaps by trying to show me how much of a man you are." What an asshole.
I am thankful that Sonya and Scott shared this story. Her column is in fact about her love life, good and bad. And it takes someone with great courage to share something so personal. She has shared so much with us already that I believe sharing this horrific story is not exploitation; it is necessary so that it could help impact women who are not as brave as this woman consistently shows she is.
What is most disgusting about the story of Sonja's rape is that nowhere in it does it say she ever reported the guy who raped her! She should be ashamed of herself for letting this guy continue to harm other innocent women while she cries to her therapist and friends. Boo hoo! What an awful example she is for her daughter and women everywhere.
Despite letting a felon run free, she certainly didn't miss her chance to pose for another cover photo shoot! She's a typical attention whore. F--k her!
We are many generations removed, but what applied in my youth, I believe, applies now. The old saying, "If it looks like a duck" ... you know the rest.
While I admire Sonja's work and think she has a real talent for writing, I wish she had the same talent for life.
Her date had no right to force his sexuality on her, but, to be fair, she had no right to give him the impression that anything goes. Dressing and speaking like a lady goes a long way in preventing that kind of reaction from men. No wonder men are confused at these mixed signals. Men have always treated me like a lady.
Last week's exchange between a reader named MZ and editor Scott Dickensheets, on the subject of a racy Downtown mural by the artist Dray, drew these responses:
I am curious how MZ thinks we might protect our children from the show ads on the backs of cabs that show a row of asses, and have for years. Apparently that is not an "issue" for him. Should we cover their eyes? Oh, no, we can't do that, we are too busy driving carefully, making sure we protect their lives instead of their exposure for a matter of minutes to something we have deemed unpleasant or even unacceptable.
Or perhaps if we do not mention it they won't even notice.
Of course, that would mean it was our hang-up and not theirs ... hmmm. As I come out of my apartment each morning, this mural is the first thing I see. It puts a smile on my face every day. I watch the students in the morning as they are waiting for the bus. They couldn't care less. They are much more concerned with petting the neighborhood dogs. Just like kids, not to pay attention to something adults have chosen to make a fuss about. You just can't count on 'em!
Hey, nice article about Dray's bungalow. I think Dray is thinking Las Vegas is LA and that murals become art if they are left up long enough. Las Vegas is a meat grinder to the graffiti-style artists, and a couple of people I know have a real hard-on about colorful lines and curves. Something in the county or Valley anti-graffiti coalition works to ban all TV and paper reporters from using any type of graffiti as a backdrop in their productions or articles. Never mind that politicians have yet to pass any sort of ordinance that requires anybody with graffiti on their property to clean it up, residential or commercial. And then there is the political signage that sprouts up almost as obnoxiously, in the form of "graffiti on a stick."
There are a lot of bad things in this world but nothing that gets someone so worked up, it seems, as colored lines on a fence. The gangs are moving in! Well the gangs have been here since 1942 (West Coast).
Besides lines, seems like a lot of people would rather do away with whatever is left of the 1920 Las Vegas Architecture. Dray and others moving in, obviously distraught at having to enter into a mortgage on an R-1 lot, no grass, neighbors who don't keep things cleaned up or painted, not enough parking space, driveways too short to park a regular size car onto without part of it poking across the sidewalk and out into the street, and all this for only $300,000 or more. NO. They want to move into a neglected dump and build something along the line of working and functional art, cleaned up, rennovated; something from which the inhabitant can reap some sort of financial reward, even have a garden if they wish.
What's the world coming to? Can't even use your own property to make the local community better, and certainly more appreciative of art and colored lines.