Do you realize that this year's high-school graduating class has no memory of the Challenger shuttle disaster? They never knew that old lady who couldn't find the beef, or the time we as a nation rallied behind Ernest P. Worrell. Want to feel really old? The class of 2004 isn't even old enough to have had an 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System. Fortunately, to celebrate the NES's 20th birthday, several classic games have been rereleased on retrofitted GameBoy Advances to be enjoyed by young whippersnappers and us old fogies.
The Legend of Zelda (E) (4 stars)
Nintendo
GameBoy Advance
Though the Super Nintendo follow-up, A Link to the Past, remains the greatest Zelda game ever, Link's first adventure is the one that set the standard. Those who've only trekked through 3D versions of Hyrule kingdom have had it way too easy. In '86, gamers fought through hordes of 2D spear-throwing guards while Zoras popped out of nearby streams, spitting fireballs. Fourteen years later, the dungeons are still daunting, the puzzles brilliant, and the fun nonstop.
Donkey Kong (E) (2.5 stars)
Nintendo
GameBoy Advance
Before Mario became god of all things Nintendo, he was known simply as Jumperman—a carpenter doomed to repeatedly rescue Pauline (Mario's pre-Princess Toadstool fling) from a barrel-hurling ape. In '81, Donkey Kong took arcades by storm, and three of its four levels eventually made it to the NES, and now the GameBoy. But the stocky Italian's debut hasn't aged well. Mario is far less limber than in later games, and a mere three levels played over and over at greater speeds gets real old real fast. Fun fact: Mario was a good Roman Catholic, as indicated by the halo over his head after each death.
Pac-Man (E) (3 stars)
Namco
GameBoy Advance
Who hasn't at some point gobbled up Pinky, Inky, Blinky, and Clyde? Pac-Man was the earliest of video-game icons. Taking five seconds to learn and countless hours to master, this ghost-chomping maze game is ingenious in its simplicity. But its challenges are bogged down in repetition, a fault corrected in subsequent Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man titles. Since many of those are already available on the GameBoy, at a lower price, this release seems unnecessary. Note: Pac-Man's '70s diet of bonus fruit is not Atkins-friendly.
Excitebike (E) (3 stars)
Nintendo
GameBoy Advance SP
From Tony Hawk's Pro-Skater to MX Unleashed, countless games owe their fundamentals to Excitebike. Featuring customizable tracks (which can be saved in this version) and jump techniques requiring a lot of finesse for an 8-bit side-scroller, this racer still entertains. But after 20 years, the mysterious force that inexplicably pulled crashed bikes to the left of the course remains unknown.
Matthew Scott Hunter has been known to mumble, "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start" in his sleep. E-mail him at
[email protected].