Beating up hookers to get your money back. Stealing Lamborghinis, wrapping them around poles and then stealing more. And doing it all while listening to A Flock of Seagulls. It can only be one game: Grand Theft Auto. And now, word on the street, or at least in PSM magazine, has it that one-third of the next installment in the hit franchise, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, will be set right here in Las Vegas.
Scheduled for release in October, Sin City will be called Las Venturra, and you'll play a '90s LA gangbanger named CJ. Your character will be able to gamble in the casinos and put on weight eating at the restaurants—and dare we hope, the buffet, too? And, of course, you'll be able to steal anything that moves, including bicycles.
To help the programmers at Rockstar Games along, here are our suggestions for some Las Venturra missions:
There's no better way for the new kid in town to get in the good graces of Las Venturra's power brokers than recovering Mayor Oscar Goodguy's favorite martini glass. Too bad for you that it's been stolen by a gang with ties to casino magnate Steve Win, who will try to stop you by hurling slot machines at you from rooftops while you cruise down the Strip.
Pay off: $1,000
Now that you've proven you're on Goodguy's team, you're called in for a special job: Win's new casino, Win Las Venturra, threatens to keep tourists away from Goodguy's Downtown projects. The mayor orders you to turn up the heat on Win, and on the shipment of shrimp destined for the party. Fight your way past Win's evil celebrity chef and break the cooler's thermostat.
Pay off: $3,000
Win's had enough and sets up a meeting with you. How much money will it take, he asks, for you to switch sides and blow up Neonville, Hizzoner's pet project Downtown? Surrounded by Win's muscle, do you really have a choice? However, once you get to Neonville, you find it's already imploded all on its own.
Pay off: $5,000
A mysterious phone call leads you to a secluded estate owned by an odd pair of German magicians, Sigmund and Ray. Someone has stolen one of their albino lion cubs and they need a man with your unique talents to get it back. Find rival magician David Coppertone's secret warehouse and bring back their pet in one piece.
Pay off: $3,000
With their lion cub safely back, Sigmund and Ray want revenge on Coppertone. You're told to go to Coppertone's Summerland mansion, and with the help of some illegal laborers from Wisconsin, replace his lush, green lawn with fake turf. When his homeowners association sees it the next day, he's immediately evicted.
Pay off: $3,000