From the Gallery of Misplaced Quotation Marks
This "ambulance" sets the record "straight" on compassion.
Best Bastardization of THAT Phrase Since Laura Bush
Seen on the sign at My Father's House church, at Patrick Lane near Annie Oakley: "Whatever happens here, Jesus forgives here."
Sin City Takes Over Airwaves; New York Surrenders
Of all the freshmen series to invade NBC's fall schedule this season, the only one to survive to next season's lineup is ... Las Vegas. Happy Family is now a broken home. Miss Match was mismatched with viewers. Even Whoopi went whoopsie. But scowlin' Jimmy Caan, hunky Joshie Duhamel and the show's cheesecake factory of femme fatales—Nikki Cox, Vanessa Marcil, Molly Sims and Marsha Thomason—will be back in their Mondays-at-9-p.m. berth. And that jacks up the number of Vegas-themed series on the broadcast nets to five in the fall, when you factor in CBS' King of Creepiness CSI and Rob Lowe's new dr. vegas (do they have such a tight budget they can't afford capital letters?), NBC's Siegfried & Roy & Their Cuddly Brood anima-fest, Father of the Pride, and Fox's reality peekaboo into the workings of Downtown's Golden Nugget in The Casino, debuting June 14.
And gee whiz ... not ONE series set in the newsroom of a globally powerful New York newspaper. ... Hmmmm.
Press Release Headline of the Week Involving Bovines and Teeth: NEVADA DENTISTS USE COW TO FIGHT CAVITIES
Nope, no People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals involvement. No sausage fillings, bacon floss or beef paste. It's just an acronym for "Classroom on Wheels." But they made it in the paper, anyway. (And it's a good program that helps underprivileged kids with good dental hygiene).
The Review, er, Reno Journal
As the state's largest newspaper and our paper of record, you'd think the Review-Journal was duty-bound to provide its readers with stories, features and information that teach us more about our city each day. Though it's no secret that the Big Paper on Bonanza has come to rely on wire stories and has been beaten by outside news organizations on important and interesting local stories, the R-J hit a new low on Monday. Traditionally thin and news-light, Monday's local section had stories emanating from Boulder City, Carson City, Elko, Reno and Reno. (By comparison, the May 24 edition had more than a handful of locally generated articles). Monday's stories weren't even withering exposes—about sticky-fingered petroglyph thieves on trial and Nevada's connection to Levi's jeans, among them. Here at the Weekly, we can't wait for hard-hitting investigative pieces coming out of Lovelock, Hawthorne and Beatty. Who knows what nefarious things can be unearthed in Pahranagat Valley. So far as the R-J is concerned, apparently, what happens is Vegas is of no concern to Las Vegans.
Wanted: Gubernatorial Speechwriter. Proficiency in Webster's English a Prerequisite
No one should ever accuse Gov. Kenny Guinn of speechifying. Last Thursday's keynote address during the Urban, Latin and Hispanic Chambers of Commerce first-ever luncheon at Bally's contained a Bush-like haul of mispronunciations and slipups.
• "Least we forget where we were five years ago," the guv said, referring to worst-in-the-nation stats on high schoolers going to college.
• "American American." He was talking about Michael Douglas, Nevada's first African-American Supreme Court justice.
• "Anointments." Addressing how he's made his cabinet diverse via various appointments.
• "Fornidable." Describing the formidable task of eliminating racial disparities in business.
We didn't ask him how to pronounce "nucular."