THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg I am in a doctor's office with my husband. He is lying on the table, naked except for a drape over his genital area. A nurse comes in and removes the drape and takes his penis off! She tells us the doctor is coming to fix it and that it is already starting to reattach itself. She puts it back and I leave to go shopping. I was in London, England. I have never been there but have always wanted to go.
Dawn, 37
Being in London indicates that the two of you have been through an unfamiliar and foreign experience and your shopping indicates that you are ready for something new and different and would prefer to let hubby handle this issue on his own.
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I've seen you Thursday mornings on Fox-5, but I'm always too afraid to call the show. I've been married for about a year and a half and we have a 17-month-old daughter. My husband and I haven't been lovey-dovey with each other for a while. We argue frequently, but not to the point where one of us leaves the house. Do you see me still married to my husband in the future?
Dear Adelle,
A "real" man has very firm ideas of what he is here to do in this lifetime. He is responsible (even if he's not initially keen on the circumstances), smart, and has integrity. Your man also has the bonus of being quite attractive.
To your husband, sex is a by-product of feeling mentally connected to you. Some men use sex as a way to release (which is why it's more typical for some men to have "detached" sex), however, your husband views intimacy as more of a sacred thing. Right now, it's difficult for him to connect with you because you are putting too much of a burden on him mentally. You think he's responsible for your happiness.
It's almost a chore for him to come home to you these days because you're thinking you get help with your daughter and he's thinking that he doesn't get any down time. He argues with you so he has an excuse to be alone for a while. You two have created this game.
Also, it's difficult enough when you're a newlywed for the first year to adjust to the whole marriage thing; and you two have the added stress of a child. You are still discovering how to be with each other. You've been using him as a connection to the outside world and your neediness is creating too much pressure on him.
I'm putting the ball (pardon the pun) back in your court for this one. Several times a week around the time he gets home, go to the gym with your daughter so he has some time to himself (or work it out so he can have alone time). Be the woman he was initially attracted to. This marriage is supposed to thrive even if things don't feel all that harmonious right now. When in doubt, simply treat him the way you want to be treated.
We are fairly new to Las Vegas and I'm curious how it's going to work out for us. We have gone through tremendous changes, not only with the move, but in our family. I'm wondering if I should be here or back home. I'm not sure if we will be able to afford to live here.
I'm also worried about the future of our children, which was such a major part of us deciding to move to the area, to be where they would have a chance to work somewhere besides Wal-Mart and be close to each other. But none of them are here, and won't be for some time. I have three sons in the Marine Corps. One is in North Carolina, one of the first to go to Iraq, then returned home safely, but he was told he was going back next March. One was recently deployed to Japan for two years, and then of course, my baby boy is in boot camp in San Diego, scheduled to graduate next month. God only knows where he'll end up, even though his brothers say he will go to Iraq.
Am I suppose to use this time to build a foundation for them to want to be here—and they all swear this is where they want to call home—or was this all for naught? And I want to know where my career is going—I'm not even sure it is one I want to explore here.
I have such mixed emotions. Please help!
Dear Marine Mom,
You have done the right thing by moving here and I see no worries for your sons no matter where they are in the world. You get depressed when you get bored or scared about restarting your life. I see success for you as soon as you decide that you want a new career for yourself, and you are exactly where you're supposed to be to have that success. Just decide and go for what you want—you really do have that power.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts. E-mail questions to [email protected].