Sometimes, in certain situations, it's best to describe something and let the reader decide what to make of it. Like when a new sport is created. And this is what it looks like:
A man dressed in black-and-silver Spandex, with silver leggings and umpire-style padding strapped to his chest and back, is jumping down a series of trampolines, over raised yellow pads that divide the playing field into sections. He's wearing a silver helmet that's so shiny you can hardly look at it, and he seems like some kind of futuristic trooper boinging into action. He's holding a ball in one hand that looks like a shrunken soccer ball and is looking up at his three teammates, who have gathered around a large hoop hanging from the ceiling. They're all jumping. And they're surrounded by four men dressed in white-and-red spandex with red helmets. The ball-holder stares, focusing on the hoop. If he actually jumps up and through the rotating circle, he'll score seven points, known as "zoom" or "skydown." If he throws it through the top part, he'll make two points. He throws. He misses. His teammates and opponents descend on the ball, some tripping, others elbowing, all bouncing.
If the Jetsons were to play a sport, this might be it. Combine the elements of most successful ball-oriented athletics, add a trampoline, delete the grace that comes with running, and you have SkyZone. At Wednesday's world premiere of the sport, held in the Orleans Arena, about 400 paid the $12-$75 ticket prices to see the Las Vegas High Rollers (red and white) take on the Los Angeles Quakes (black and silver). They were enthusiastic, this crowd that was dominated by men and kids, with everyone screaming and booing like they would at any sporting event.
Apparently, new sports teach us about things we never knew that old sports might have needed. Like a cannon-carrying man to shoot the ball into play, a DJ to play rap and rock during the game, three unsynchronized dancers and those super-shiny helmets. And it all takes place in a Smurf-blue "bowl" of 65 attached trampolines, their borders and springs topped by that bright yellow padding, which divides the court into 36 rectangles. From from time to time, a player's foot would disappear. It wasn't clear if he just tripped or actually went through the padding, but at least there was no blood. Or would that have been a bonus?
It looks like chaos, this sport that was conceived in Las Vegas. Or like a science movie teaching kids about protons and electrons, as components bounce off of one another. That would make the referee the neutron. He's standing in a box made out of wood and pulleys, maybe 20 feet above the action, throwing down a new ball from time to time and blowing his whistle.
Could this be the next big thing? Americans seem pretty steadfast in their sports, rejecting even the XFL. And one of the appealing things about currently successful sports is their accessibility. If you have a ball and some space, you're on. You can improvise on the goals and the setting. Sixty-five trampolines, on the other hand, are more than most people have seen in their entire life. And possibly more than anyone really wants to.
Still, it was a fun way to spend a couple of hours. And our very own High Rollers won, 52 to 26, taking the first victory in the history of the new sport.