MYSTIC MONA: Take Care, Caregiver

Negotiating a mom/daughter rift

Mona










THE DREAM ZONE




with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg



Dear Dream Zone:

In my dream, an army of red wasps was coming up from the ground. I tried to close the door to stop them, but I could not. The wasps swarmed a hummingbird and were taking it away. A tiger-striped fish was swimming around the wasp taking away the hummingbird.




Kathleen, 47



Lauri: There's been a "buzz" lately (gossip or stinging remarks) that you've been trying to keep on the down-low. Someone with a sweet and social nature, symbolized by the humming bird, is getting carried away and possibly victimized by this swarm of negativity. The tiger-striped fish is YOU! It is symbolic of your predatory yet spiritual self, which wants to put an end to this nonsense. The fish was out of water because it may very well be that you would be out of your element when trying to get involved in such a mess. However, your dream is showing you that you've got a fierce inner tigress that's ready to pounce at this injustice!



Kathleen replies: This interpretation applies as I am helping someone right now who has been feeling swarmed and criticized! The tigress fits too, because I've always played the roll of big sister, mother and friend to this person. And I have been trying to keep a low profile in this issue, or as you said, "on the down low."



Dream fact of the week: Long ago in Japan, children were told if they awoke from a nightmare to call three times for Baku. Baku was a creature with the head of a lion and the scales of a dragon who ate bad dreams for food.



Lauri Quinn Loewenberg's website is www.thedreamzone.




I'm a live-in caregiver for the elderly, plus I have a small retail business working with glass, water and fire.


The 82-year-old lady I care for is in good health with manageable diabetes and a balance problem (recovering from a broken hip), but should not live alone any longer. Will I be with her for a long period of time (with good pay) or should I consider some of the other calls I am getting? The lady has a daughter from hell and I am not comfortable living with all this drama, but I have a ton of patience and can smile and say "yes" all day long. Long-term in this business is a couple of years if you're lucky.




CAREGIVER



Dear Caregiver,



I see you assisting this woman for about another year and I would encourage you to do so. The reason the daughter is such a brat is that she is fighting her own dragons about Mom. Your goal in the next year is to help bridge their communication struggle and create harmony in the household. You are one of the few people who treat this lovely woman with respect and compassion. This makes the daughter a little bothered that a complete stranger has the capacity to have such a meaningful impact on her mother! Know that you are making a difference and not many people can do what you do.



•••


I've been working at my current job since last March. I had a really bad experience with my first manager and left the company after Christmas, but I had a change of heart after seeing my family in New Jersey and I came back to the company. Now, I am a manager in training and sometimes feel like I'm wasting my time because our district manager kept promoting people from other markets or people with management experience.


After being passed over repeatedly, last week I got a promotion. I am now in charge of five associates and it's my head on the chopping block if we can't get the job done on time. Is this assignment a test or a poor excuse to get me to do something that needs to be done? Is it worth my time to stick around with this company in the hopes that I'll achieve the goals I'm working toward or should I start hitting the classified ads?


Secondly, I am 20 years old and really don't know what "love" is. I have tried to find "Ms. Right," even "Ms. Right Now," but every time I get the courage to start courting, I get some lame excuse like "you're not my type," "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" and my personal favorite, "you're more like a brother to me." It hurts because I just try to be myself and it seems that isn't good enough. I'm not looking to get married anytime soon, but I just want to know what it's like to have a girlfriend or even go out on a date.


Am I wasting my time being concerned with this? If nothing is going to happen for me anytime soon, that's fine, but I'm tired of giving to people and getting nothing but hurt in return.




SPINNING MY WHEELS



Dear Spinning,



Congratulations on the opportunity to shine as a supervisor! I understand you've been assigned a project you really don't want to do, but it's your job to be enthusiastic and do more than is expected. This will bring deserved recognition by August, plus confidence in your ability to lead. Consider school studies for business basics and management, and get your sense of humor back.



As for love, treat the young women you encounter as if they're already your friends. Though I see heavy concentration on your career now, I do see a young woman with brown to blond hair who's been waiting for you to notice her. But the cards say you won't get married for at least eight years.



• • •



E-mail questions to [email protected].

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