I got my first and only tattoo when I was 18. This dime-size, $8 tattoo seemed a good idea at the time, and though I acknowledged to Bob that I was ready for him to begin the process of a tiny heart on my hip, when the tattoo needles penetrated the first layers of skin, I jumped. It was supposed to be a little red heart with a dainty black outline, but turned out to be a rather heavy-lined reminder of a self-induced decision. I still have that tattoo, because when I made inquiry to remove it, I was more unwilling to part with the $1,300 than the tattoo.
Lisa got her first tattoo shortly after I showed her mine when she was 21. Eventually, most of her body would be covered with the work of some of the most talented tattoo artists in California and Hawaii. From the winding, flowering vines around her leg to full flowers around her hips to birds and butterflies at her shoulders. These artists helped her embrace and capture her regard for the beauty she saw around her.
It was not a surprise when she bought a Harley about 10 years ago. It just seemed appropriate that this country music-loving, tattooed woman would own and ride the greatest American motorcycle ever made. I remember the story of the big ride up the coast where she made the mistake of wearing her leathers on the hottest and most humid day on record—however, she did look marvelous.
Lisa was my soul sister—almost 6 feet tall with bright blue eyes and the ability to see the best in everyone. Those ballet lessons when she was young taught her the poise to navigate her tall frame with grace. Drugs, drinking, and smoking were never a part of her life; she preferred to test her body limits naturally (although she liked her middle-of-the-night Roberto's and Peanut M&Ms). Lisa was always beautiful. Arnold Schwarzenegger introduced himself to her at Gold's Gym in Los Angeles during her serious bodybuilding days (this was before Maria) just because of how gorgeous she was.
She was very protective of the people she loved and even though she chose to do everything the hard way, it was still a shock when she was diagnosed with breast cancer 13 years ago. The doctors told her many times that she only had a few months left during those years and she stubbornly refused their prediction. She completed her bachelor's degree in criminal justice; adopted Sebastian, a cocker spaniel from the animal shelter; and continued her volunteer work for the homeless in San Diego County even as her vitality was leaving her.
On one of her visits to Las Vegas, we arranged for tickets to see Blue Man Group. It was one more time of wigs or baseball caps to cover the results of yet another chemotherapy session. She was captivated by the show, the music, and the frolic of our talented trio. When she realized that the Blue Men were in the lobby after the show, she whipped off her baseball cap to receive the official blue handprint on her head. Whoever said that Las Vegas is only "Sin City" was not there when that performer honored my friend with his simple gift of acknowledgement. It was only a passing moment to him, but meant the world to my Lisa.
With a deep sigh of release, my beautiful, fortysomething friend left this world on May 11. Her last moments were cradled in the loving care of remarkable people. I know in my deepest self that every person she touched throughout her life also surrounded her in spirit when she passed. Oblivious to criticism (especially by those who were ignorant), able to dance to her own melody, and one of the most compassionate women I have ever been proud to call my friend, Lisa remains the physical companion I had in this world for a mere 27 years, but who will live in my soul forever.
It was her determination and regard for her friends that truly astonishes all the people who love her. I have lost one of my greatest living reminders of why we are born as humans: to love without the confines of this world, without reason or remorse, without care whether we're loved back in the same manner, and with the courage to know that it is the unseen in this human condition that is vital. She lived with all the definitions of love: compassion, courtesy, integrity, devotion, tenderness, and the value and recognition of each individual spirit. She's left a chasm in the lives of those who knew her and she'll be deeply missed.
I hope you have the gift of someone like my Lisa in your life, even if that person simply resides in your heart.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, "Psychic Views," airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM, and she appears Thursdays at 7:45 a.m. on Fox-5 News. E-mail questions to [email protected].