THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg I was at work and some "bad guys" were keeping us prisoner. After many attempts I escaped and found myself walking down a country road. Suddenly, there was a huge splash of water just over the hill. I went up the hill to see when a giant whale jumped out of the water! I stood in awe as it landed back in the water with a giant splash.
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I've been married to my wife for what will be eight years on October 26. We were separated for about eight months because of her affair with another man. When we got back together two months ago, she wanted to keep him as a friend. I can't accept this. I left her once because of him, and I'm on the verge of leaving again, this time for good. She talked to him on the phone two days ago and we haven't spoken since. Should I stay or leave her with four kids, two of whom are handicapped? I love her, but I can't accept the friendship.
Dear Hurt Husband:
She must cut off all communication with this other man, or there is no relationship. The two of you need a professional counselor to work on the value of trust. You'll decide by the end of November if there is still enough love left for you to stay.
I've been seeing this guy off and on for seven years. He's got a prickly personality, but I stuck it out and he opened up quite a bit. One of the things that kept me hanging in were a series of very beautiful, powerful dreams that indicated we knew each other from before and weren't supposed to miss each other this time. Since I'm psychic, and this is how I usually receive guidance, I gave that some serious weight. (Plus, when I first met him almost 20 years ago, I got a strong jolt and heard a voice saying, "You're going to marry this man." I didn't want to believe it at the time.)
About a year ago, the "special" dreams stopped. He's since reverted to his old thoughtless self, and we haven't seen each other in a year. (Until recently, we talked on the phone almost every day.)
I still love him dearly, but I wonder if I should give up on him completely. Why the dreams if we're not going to be together? And if we're going to be together, why did they stop? My gut tells me it's still not over, but maybe I'm just hanging on.
Dear SQ:
There are many levels of marriage and soul connections. In the "cosmic" sense of things, for the last seven years you were "married" to him—because you didn't allow another man to get close even when you were in "off-again" mode. He, on the other hand, had no problem sleeping with other women (who would put up with him) during that time.
You chose this relationship for three reasons. The first was to examine your level of self-worth, because you deliberately chose a man who by his own nature does not know how to love back. The second is because you needed to understand that at some point you were doing all the work. And the third was for you to understand that no matter how much you love someone, you can't make him love you back. It's a blessing that now you know what does not define real love for you. Sometimes, it takes just this type of relationship for a person to know what they don't want.
It's amazing that some women are only attracted to guys who are dicks (I'm sorry, I rarely use naughty words in my column, but it's the only one that really describes this guy). They confuse aloofness with strength or self-confidence. However, it's not strength that makes him this way, it's an almost paralyzing fear. He doesn't even care about himself, so why do you think there's room in his heart to care about anyone else? Your karmic obligation (to him) was over as soon as he "reverted to his old thoughtless self."
The quicker you let him go, the quicker you'll notice the real loving soul connection that's been trying to get your attention for a long time. He's got dark hair and eyes, a bit of a beer belly and has no problem sharing his abundant love with you. Why not let yourself be loved for a change?
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. Her live, local radio show, "Psychic View," airs 10 a.m. Saturdays on Hot Talk 1140-AM. You may e-mail questions to [email protected].