Typically, when such an anticipated game is so critically acclaimed and universally loved, there has to be one jaded critic who unfairly rags on it. So I'll give it a shot.
Any Xbox fan who hasn't spent the last two years on a desert island knows this sequel's premise: The overly religious alien race known as the Covenant is invading Earth, and all that stands in their way is a familiar, green armor-clad super-soldier. But this is unforgivably misleading. No one mentioned these events were merely a prologue to a far more fascinating story than that of the original Halo. And remember those endearing grunts and growls of the Covenant troops? They've been replaced by actual dialogue. Just because this humanizes the bad guys to add greater depth to the narrative is no excuse.
As for game play, new features, like the ability to hijack vehicles from your enemies, over-complicates combat. Who cares that this makes Halo's beloved multiplayer far more exciting since the well-timed theft of an opponent's vehicle can change the course of a battle? And don't get me started on those graphics. When environments look this cool, how am I supposed to concentrate on blasting Unggoys from my airborne Banshee?
There's much more I could complain about, but I'd rather get back to saving the planet.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (E) (3 stars)
(Classic NES series)
Nintendo GameBoy Advance
The black sheep of the Zelda franchise still offers solid platforming fun. But that's what we have Mario for. This is Zelda, so stick to the classic overhead view, dammit!
Castlevania (E) (3.5 stars)
(Classic NES series)
Konami GameBoy Advance
As sidescrollers go, Simon's original venture into the heart of Dracula's castle can't be beat. You'll be happily lashing your whip at ghouls and candelabras for hours.
Metroid (E) (3 stars)
(Classic NES series)
Nintendo GameBoy Advance
Samus' first mission has all the memorable bosses and weapons that made us fans. But the drab, repetitive level designs, like the titular creatures, can suck the life out of you.
Dr. Mario (E) (4 stars)
(Classic NES series)
Nintendo GameBoy Advance
Forget forging prescriptions for painkillers; playing Dr. Mario is the most addictive way to pop pills. For hours of puzzle-game euphoria, this is just what the doctor ordered.
Matthew Scott Hunter has been known to mumble, "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start" in his sleep. E-mail him at
[email protected].