THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg My husband and I were at his friend's house. There were rat carcasses on the couch, the floor, etc. Rat remains were everywhere! I couldn't find an area to sit. Suddenly, my husband was asleep and his friend was in a pool of water covered up with a black blanket with rat body parts smashed all over it. I was so disgusted! What does this mean?
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My parents were married for almost 24 years and divorced this past Christmas. Two months later, my dad had already met a new lady and moved her into his home. I'm having a hard time dealing with this and have a horrible feeling about this new lady, whom he has already asked to marry him. Is this lady good for him? Do I have a bad gut feeling because she's not good for him, or because my father is remarrying already?
Dear Daughter,
The trouble started about seven years ago. Your father felt his life was slipping away and didn't think your mom would see things in the future any differently than she had in the past. Your father kept a few secrets—flirtations with other women, hidden money, perhaps some online follies he didn't count as cheating. He'd planned this divorce for some time and there was nothing your mom could do—he was done.
What's annoying is your dad's gotten away with the one thing we're supposed to achieve in this lifetime: complete comfort with our way of doing things. But we're supposed to figure that out at a much younger age so we can avoid hurting people. In his mind, he lived up to his parental responsibilities until he felt his entire family was mature enough for him to leave.
Your father feels more alive than he has in years and he'll probably marry the gal he's living with. It's the timing that has your radar up. This woman thinks her life has little meaning without a man in it—that's sad. She gives your dad what your mom wouldn't—complete servitude in exchange for monetary security. Though that doesn't sound like a soul-satisfying relationship, it's exactly what they both want.
Your mom needs to be encouraged to reconnect with life and she has some secrets too. I see her remarried (you'll really like him) within a year and a half. Her life changes in November because she finally decides to go after what she wants.
Deal with your dad's new relationship like you don't care one way or the other if he remarries. This isn't about you (he loves you and is very proud of you); it's his midlife crisis. The right marriage makes you feel more like yourself in it than outside of it, and the real life lessons don't happen until we love someone as much as we love ourselves.
My wife and I moved to Las Vegas from the Midwest in 2001, hoping for a fresh start. It's been anything but: long periods of unemployment or underemployment, illnesses, car accidents, financial troubles and any kind of bad luck you'd imagine. I'm terribly homesick; I'd love to move back home and write off Las Vegas as a failed experiment, but my wife, despite all the trouble, likes a lot about the city and wants to stay.
Do you see us staying here much longer, or any good things coming our way? Living here has us mentally exhausted.
Dear RS,
Throw yourself into your life for the next four weeks as if everything is supposed to work out for you here. You can get a really great job here if you tried, but more importantly, you need to find a network of friends. You've been the uncommitted one about Las Vegas since 2001, so it's your unwilling energy that's contributed to the circumstances you've experienced.
You've written about your feelings, not your wife's. Back "home," your wife had burdensome expectations from friends and family, plus weather challenges; for you, that was part of living a "good old-fashioned" life. Nothing improves until you see yourself with a contented life. I see you with something to celebrate by Thanksgiving, after refocusing your energy.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed psychic in Las Vegas. E-mail: [email protected].