PSYCHIC VIEW: Robert’s Rules of Order

Dearest Robert,

My advice never substitutes for that of medical professionals and I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. The only way you would have slowed down was to have a heart attack. Consider for a moment that the only way you would have looked at your life differently was if there was a medical condition to force you to do so.

Your soul shines so brightly and you've always been a decisive, driven man. You're a man of your word, a man of integrity, and can't stand to be idle. If you don't have something to do, you'll get depressed; it's simply your nature. You also have a really difficult time accepting help from anyone, especially your wonderful wife. The two of you made a vow to support each other and that doesn't mean you always get to be the gallant knight.

Before I get back to you, I must tell you that your wife doesn't look at her work as a burden. She may gripe occasionally about it, but she's getting a satisfying sense of purpose by having to go to a job. She likes the gossip, she likes feeling connected to "the outside" and frankly, it's hard for her to see her husband so down. Her job allows her to have something about her day to tell you about.

You were raised with an "artists-are-a dime-a-dozen" mind-set, which means you never allowed yourself to be creative in the classic sense. You have an extremely talented artistic side and I'd like you (while you're getting your strength back) to explore that talent. Painting, playing an instrument, writing—anything to keep your hands and mind engaged concurrently. Also, don't watch daytime TV. I'm serious—it'll just depress you further. Instead, listen to talk radio or play classical music as you go about your day.

You need to keep yourself occupied and for starters, be the Chef of the House. You'll be in charge of preparing dinner every evening. This duty should take you two to three hours daily to perform. You'll go to your grocery store every day and buy fresh that which you will prepare for dinner with your lovely wife. Lots of vegetables, lean poultry, fish, and very little starch. This way you'll be "working" as you convalesce. Be friendly with the grocery-store staff—this will become a pleasant part of your day.

Take any excuse to go outside. Check with your physician and ask about walking, which will help the anxiety and high blood pressure enormously. Once you're up to walking two miles without stopping, then you can go back to work. By the way, don't expect your wife to quit her job when you go back to work.

You may decide to do something connected with your own recovery instead of going back to your old job. I can see you being hired at one of the large health clubs and consulting with a more mature clientele about your recovery. Your story will be your very persuasive sales pitch—a healthier lifestyle becomes the focus of everything.