THE DREAM ZONE |
with Lauri Quinn Loewenberg I dreamt that I pulled back the blankets on my bed and found a huge spider running around on the sheets! I screamed to my boyfriend to take care of it. To my disgust, he started picking his nose and caught the spider with his boogers! What on Earth does this mean?
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I'm so depressed I don't know what to do anymore. I'm 45 and have been married twice. My first husband, with whom I have three children, cheated on me during our 14-year marriage and we divorced. He remarried and I got remarried too, to a police officer here in Las Vegas. Our marriage lasted only 10 years and we got divorced. My ex-husband killed himself on Father's Day when our youngest child was 7 (my son is now 19 and serving in the USAF, stationed in Japan on a special operation).
I've been in relationships. One lasted four years and we broke up because he doesn't want my children. Then I met this guy last year on Mother's Day. We didn't get too serious until last August. I really love this man but lately he's been acting strangely. I can feel that he cheated on me; I haven't spoken to him since March 25, and I didn't return his call. I found on his e-mail that a woman had sent him an e-mail that says, "I MISS YOU." I really care and love this man, but I don't know if this relationship can get fixed. I'm tired of dating—all I want to have is a good man in my life.
Dear V,
You're not doing a very good job of connecting yourself with activities that would attract a good man and you have some rather unreasonable, preconceived ideas of what the "perfect" relationship is supposed to be like. It's mostly your fault that you haven't found a good man. I'm sorry for the loss of your ex-husband, but you have to remember that each of us has free will and it's not about you that he ended his life.
I don't see another relationship for you for at least 18 months. Also, this most recent man is not your "good man," either. If you have any question at all about someone, if your intuition is throwing up red flags, it's probably a correct indication of their character. However, most people think that because they've invested so much time in a relationship that they have to make it work. There are basic aspects of people that either fit together or not. Stop trying to be what you think any man would want you to be.
I'd like you to have a few sessions with a professional therapist and talk about two things:
1. Why do you settle for men who aren't worthy of you?
2. Your self-esteem in regard to relationships.
In the meantime, find a charitable organization and volunteer your time. Your life has been in a rut for a number of years and my cards tell me that the next 18 months is about you creating spontaneous reasons to enjoy life (without needing a man to do so). I'm tired of you dating too, mostly because you put so much pressure on the guy your dating to be that "good man." That's what's important for you to learn—not every man you date will be a good relationship for you. Until you can get to the point where going out with a guy can just be fun companionship (without it getting sexual and serious on your part too soon), it's better you don't date at all and find other outlets for that time.
Note to readers: Special thanks to the professionals at Spay Our Strays for their assistance with the cats that adopted our household in recent months. This organization helps people get low-cost spaying for stray cats. They can provide you with humane traps and arrange for you to help reduce the population of strays. Call 383-8616 and ask for Denise. Remember, if you're feeding a stray cat, it thinks it belongs to you.
Also, a special thank you to those who adopted six kittens that one of those strays had on my back porch. I'm certain that Niles, Priscilla, "Big" John, Vincent, Elton, and Picasso will be well-loved.
Mona Van Joseph is a licensed professional in the psychic arts through the city of Las Vegas. You may e-mail questions to [email protected].