GRAY MATTERS

In the category of forehead-smacking quease-maker, from the R-J:

"Reality Series Pitched For Nevada Prison."

Apparently, a slow-season Legislative committee "approved further discussions" about shooting a weekly program called (we couldn't make this up:) inCARcerated, which would follow inmates who restore classic cars for private citizens in a work program.

From the R-J: "The tagline for a promotional video of the show shown to the committee says: 'inCARcerated. In this garage, they have nothing but time.'"

Or, put another way: "Sin City's Summer Sizzlin' Sex Series," a dose of theatrical Viagra in the form of seven hours of play readings celebrating The Nasty. Produced by locally-based Impulsive Theatre Productions and set for 3 to 10 p.m. on August 28 at Las Vegas Little Theatre, the naughty marathon includes Jeff Gould's It's Just Sex, about three couples into swinging (praised on the Impulsive press release as "better than therapy and a lot more fun" by that legendary theater savant, Leeza Gibbons). Also expect readings from Lolita, The Vagina Monologues and Private Parts (because Howard Stern is our era's Eugene O'Neill). It's free for those 18 and older, and reservations are suggested. Put on a condom and call 387-3890.

"Sitting at a waterfront steakhouse at the newest and most expensive Strip resort, indulging in a fabulous meal, we concluded that Steve Wynn did, indeed, build the finest resort in town. It has an elegant casino, matchless dining, a fine art gallery, a gorgeous theater, opulent guest rooms, an impeccable staff. But enough about the Bellagio."

Gorman's low points: paltry atrium; everything's for sale (even the pillows you sleep on); the look-but-don't-touch Ferrari dealership; the music scene. ("I found a DJ playing music, hordes of folks drinking and lounging like turtles on toadstool-like platforms in the pool.")

Gorman's high points: view from the room; the Le Reve show; good food.

"The program is exciting to watch, and it is going to shatter a lot of stereotyped images about Nevada. TV viewers from Las Vegas to Little Rock and Reno to Rochester will see these men and women rock-climbing, whizzing around on Jet Skis, four-wheeling, mountain biking, snow-shoeing, sandboarding and kayaking. Seeing real people with ordinary day jobs doing extraordinary adventures on beautiful Nevada landscape will surprise many viewers."

Forbes magazine recently came out with a couple of lists, both featuring Las Vegas. We managed to make the top 10 Best Places to be Rich, coming in at No. 6, though we suspect the Forbes staff did their research from their desks. Our clue is this line about the No. 3 city, San Francisco: "... its days of being hipster heaven are long gone as today you need plenty of bucks to live here." There's no denying Frisco is more costly than Vegas, but the homeless, gangs and disaffected youth seem to be doing just fine. Aspen and Palm Beach were No. 1 and 2, respectively.

Our lower cost of living, and top-rated job growth helped us in the business mag's other list, Best Cities for Singles—but not enough. We placed an embarrassing No. 25 out of 40, wedged between puritanical Salt Lake City and hedonistic New Orleans. We only ranked 39 in Culture, which is fair enough when pro sports-team ownership is a criterion. Under Coolness, a measure of "creative workers," we managed to bring our score up to 25 but last time we looked, scientists and teachers weren't harbingers of hipness. (That category was tallied by—no surprise—academic wonks.) But we were shocked at only meriting 22 under Nightlife. The reason? Forbes counted the raw number of restaurants, bars and clubs in each area. OK, fine, leave quality out of the equation and New York has more greasy diners and rundown bars.

What city won out, you ask? Why, the Denver-Boulder area, of course. Ah well, what do you expect when a magazine bases its Living Cost on the price of a Pizza Hut pizza, a movie ticket and a six-pack of Heineken. In Denver and Boulder, that's the life of Riley!