NOISE

You know you've made it big when they make a hedgerow maze in your likeness. At least, so goes the thinking at Wales' Heatherton County Sports Park, where folks have spent three months crafting a five-acre maze in the form of favorite native son Tom Jones. With the hedges expected to grow to 15 feet, bridges, escape routes and distress flags are available in case anyone gets lost. There's been no word on whether an inordinate number of women find themselves lost in the juncture below his waist.

Where: MGM Grand Hollywood Theatre


When: 8:30 nightly, August 11-24


Price: $70


Info: 891-7777

"I've said that playing the blues is like having to be black twice. Stevie [Ray Vaughan] missed on both counts, but I never noticed."

The Entrance: The Nuge comes out waving Old Glory onto a stage backdropped by another American flag, whose stars and stripes are obscured by lettering: "Ted Nugent." The Nuge plays the "Star-Spangled Banner" on guitar.

The Quote: "The military dances on the skulls of assholes." He then compares African debt relief to forgiving the Crips and Bloods for their crimes.

The Fan: "Should I be offended?" asked a middle-aged woman after the Nuge referred to Democrat Sen. Dianne Feinstein as a four-letter word that begins with C. "I guess it is OK since he supports the troops."

Erykah Badu = Ah, Auk Be Dry

Queen Latifah = He Quilt An Elf—A?

Jill Scott = Clot Jilts

Floetry = Roy Left

Violent Femmes


Permanent Record: The Very Best of the Violent Femmes (3 stars)

The best came first for the Violent Femmes, and so any career-spanning collection is a problem. In 1983, the Violent Femmes' self-titled debut, packed with songs of tortured adolescence and unfulfilled horniness, became the essential expression of wimp rock. "Add It Up," "Blister in the Sun," "Kiss Off" and "Gone Daddy Gone" are all included from that release. The decades that followed, though disappointing in comparison, still had enough highlights to fill the rest of Permanent Record with enjoyable, if not always inspiring, music.

Gatsby's American Dream (4 stars)


Volcano

Poetic lyrics, creative musical turns, high-energy sound. Yes, you can have it all.

Tinsley Ellis (3.5 stars)


Live: Highwayman

Bluesman Tinsley Ellis is easy to damn with faint praise as always good, never essential. This live disc doesn't change that, yet it still offers an engaging performance by the stalwart Ellis, showcasing his wickedly good guitar-playing, gruff singing and straightforward songwriting.

Missy Higgins (2 stars)


The Sound of White

Because what the world needs now is another singer-songwriter pouring her heart out in coffee shops, along comes this young Australian. Considered a wunderkind Down-Under, Higgins' ability to play piano as well as guitar adds a welcome depth to the music and her achy-heart lyrics, but it's hard to understand some critics comparing her to Kate Bush. Higgins is polished but nothing new.