So, you think you're spongeworthy? Very spongeworthy? You own a very profitable electronics distributing firm? You eat well? You exercise? Blood tests—immaculate?
You're going to do something about your sideburns? And the bathroom in your apartment? You cleaned it this morning?
All right, let's go.
Earlier this month, the first three seasons of Seinfeld, released November 23, surpassed Chappelle's Show: Season One as the top-selling television series DVD of all time with four million units moved. While some might attribute the feat to a hefty holiday sales boost, perhaps it had less to do with Christmas and more to do with Festivus. Expect sales to climb even higher after last Saturday's performance by Spongeworthy at the Tailspin Bar and Grill, and the upcoming Vandelay Industries appearance February 19 at Pink E's.
While Jerry Seinfeld's Nine Seasons of Nothing were throwing all standard sitcommery rules out the apartment window, they were simultaneously affecting the realm of music, as well. Thanks to NBC's Must-See TV pioneer, we learned that a jumpy bass line, finger snaps and a few mouth-noise samples over title and closing sequences could be more memorable and fitting than traditional, schmaltzy theme songs. The Eagles' "Desperado" was revealed to be a far superior song to "Witchy Woman," so poignant in fact that it is impossible to share the tune with another human being. And the late Artie Shaw allegedly recorded a hidden gem of a tune called "Honeysuckle Jump" (though Elaine Benes' big-band radio-contest winner was more likely a real-life hybrid of Count Basie's "Honeysuckle Rose" and "One O'Clock Jump").
A pop-culture stalwart about pop culture, the show utilized such song snippets as the Beach Boys' "California Girls," Barbra Streisand's "Memories," Petula Clark's "Downtown," Sheena Easton's "Morning Train (Nine to Five)," Lionel Richie's "Hello," Foghat's "Slow Ride," Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gada-Da-Vida" and Wall of Voodoo's "Mexican Radio" for comedic effect, name-checking musicians ranging from Mozart and Beethoven to Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, Boy George and Elton John, and Pink Floyd and Metallica, not to mention Kenny Rogers, Frank Sinatra, Neil Diamond and Mick Jagger, for good measure.
And the musical guest stars—what was the deal with them? Mel Torme serenaded Kramer at a benefit for the Able Mentally Challenged Adults, while Bette Midler was hospitalized in a softball tag-out gone awry and starred in both the stage and screen versions of Rochelle, Rochelle, marketed as "A Young Woman's Strange, Erotic Journey from Milan to Minsk." Jerry even appeared on The Charles Grodin Show with one of the Three Tenors—not Domingo or Pavarotti, but "the other guy."
It's been nearly seven years since the series' May 14, 1998, finale, and in addition to Spongeworthy's and Vandelay Industries' nomenclatural tributes to favorite episodes, there also is South Dakota's Jerkstore and California's Soup Nazi and Jimmy Legs. And in true Bizarro World fashion, there was a second band named Spongeworthy available on store shelves until December 2002, this one in Madison, Virginia, that had to switch to a new name (Black Bean) for legal reasons. Was Jackie Chiles consulted somewhere along the way?
But it's not just band names that make reference: Sein language also has wormed its way into CD lyric booklets. The ska-reamo band Folly's Insanity Later album includes a song titled "Serenity Now!" Emo princes, Taking Back Sunday, quote everyone's favorite phrase for glazing over "the best part," of a recap by "yada yada yada"-ing through a verse of "I Am Fred Astaire" on their most recent release, Where You Want to Be. George Costanza could have gained perspective on his "a George divided against itself" dilemma from the likes of Def Leopard ("Worlds Collide"), Powerman 5000 ("When Worlds Collide") or the Bee Gees ("When Two Worlds Collide"). And Google registers 2,170 hits for song lyrics containing the phrase, "Master of my domain."
Not that there's anything wrong with that.