What a relief to read in the R-J last week that, following the London bombings, local officials are going to "pay extra heed to buses and trains." Whatever we're paying these folks for such strategic thinking—if they blew up a bus over there, they might blow one up over here—it's not enough.
But if you think that "paying extra heed" means looking under more bus seats, well, you don't think like the government. "Nothing has changed," an FBI spokesman said. "We're doing the same things we do every day." So which is it: paying extra heed or changing nothing? Yes! The increase in heed is selective. Locals, yes; FBI, no. See how fun it is to think like the government!
On the off chance that terrorists might overlook our mass-transit system for a less-obvious target (casinos), the state Homeland Security Commission granted $500,000 to a think tank for the purpose of, as the morning paper put it, "figuring out where terrorists might strike Nevada and how to stop them." (Casinos? By paying extra heed to casinos?) Note to the Institute for Security Studies, recipient of the grant: casinos. Maybe I'm just thinking outside the tank, but focusing on casinos seems like a good idea—I'll sell it to you for a buck, the going rate for a good idea in this town, and you can give back the other $499,999. Then again, one suspects the rationale for the grant might be found in the 10th paragraph of the R-J story: "The [group's] study is considered necessary if the state is to receive more federal Homeland Security funding next year." Like it says in the Bible, or should, you have to spend money to make money.
Money is sure a big concern over at the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority. Last week, LVCVA boss Rossi Ralenkotter had to change his estimate of the economic impact to Las Vegas should the city host the 2007 NBA All-Star game. His original guess: $100 million. His new guess: $27 million. (Clearly, the LVCVA and I use the same household budgeting system.) "That was just an estimate in the beginning," he said. Anyway, he can easily make up the discrepancy by selling 73 million catchy slogans to R&R Partners. Ralenkotter blamed the lower figure on the NBA's uncertain attendance projections. "We'll do some event research when it's all over, and that will give us a real hard number," he told the Review-Journal.
You mean, you'll wait until it's over, count how much money the city made, and then you'll know? Why, yes, we DO use the same accounting system, and if it's good enough for the president to use in budgeting for the war, it's good enough for us.
Not for teachers, though. The crisis in teacher pay is bad enough that not even the R-J can ignore the way they're being home-priced out of the market. (Full disclosure: My wife is a teacher, so I'm really pissed about this.) Luckily, the Chamber of Commerce, in lieu of asking businesses to actually pay a few extra tax bucks to support education, told the paper it's assisting in its own way: Its website will help teachers find roomies.
Finally, an idea actually worth a dollar.
Let's Do the Math! |
-2 Seniors complain about lack of doctors to treat the elderly. Go ahead, vote against the next education bond.
-2 Median housing price ($300,000) now more than 10 times annual salary ($28,000) of new teachers. Hey, let's blame old people!
+1 North LV residents stymie new payday-loan store. Yay!
+1 As reported by R-J, LVCVA board always votes to approve items, always in unison. It's nice to see such cooperation! (Outside of a coroner's jury deciding on an officer-involved shooting, that is.)
Final Score
-2
Well, You Are the Chancellor, After All |
"My guess is that I'll have a great deal of influence with the regents on this."
The Vegas Rorschach |
Match the Psychologically Revealing Shape to Its Closest Interpretation
A.) Local medical officials and Pittsburgh officials reaching a profit-sharing deal for Downtown med center. (Blob left of center: Jim Rogers.)
B.) Gubernatorial candidate Bob Beer's proposing to break school district into autonomous cells.
C.) Bob Beers. Just Bob Beers.
D.) Monorail's bond rating.
Answer: There is no "right" answer; what you see depends on the filters through which you view the world. C is damn close, though.
Scott Dickensheets is a Weekly writer at large. Give him crap (or cake) at
[email protected].