GRAY MATTERS

News, observations, stray thoughts + medically supervised brain drainings about our city



A Horse Channel's a Horse Channel, Of Course, Of Course


"I Want My MTV!" is so, like, two decades ago. If you wanna put a little zip in yer giddy-up these days when watching TV, the hip declaration has gotta be "I Want My Horse TV!" (Are you listening, Cox Cable?) Seriously ... No (horse) shit. Being saddled up by its sire, HorseTV Media Group Inc. (no kidding), the coltish 24-hour channel will, says a company statement, "provide viewers with a variety of programming focused on horses and horse-related events, competitions, stories, recreation and the lifestyles that we share with horses." It's set to gallop onto cable tiers in the fall. If it includes Mr. Ed reruns and endless loops of that scene with the movie producer in bed getting, uh, head, in The Godfather, we'd like to call for an official petition drive to harass Cox Cable into carrying The Horse Channel. ... Seriously ... No horsing around.




Washington in Plames


•
"Playing politics with our national security."



—Nevada Democratic Sen. Harry Reid on the Republican Party's role in the Valerie Plame scandal.


•
"Partisan war chants."



—Tennessee Republican Sen. Bill Frist, characterizing the Democrats' criticism of the Republicans' role in the Valerie Plame scandal.


• Republican



—The favorite political party of conservative columnist Robert Novak, who exposed the identity of CIA agent Plame in order to discredit her diplomat husband Joseph Wilson, who had questioned faulty U.S. intelligence during the run-up to the Iraq War.


• Republican



—The name of the party whose mastermind is Karl Rove, who says he learned of Plame's identity from Novak and then passed on the knowledge to Time's Matthew Cooper, who nearly went to jail for protecting Rove's identity from a federal investigation into the Plame outing.


•
Once a Las Vegas kid



—New York Times reporter Judith Miller, who was also told by SOMEONE about Plame's identity, but who is currently sitting in jail for her refusal to tell us who SOMEONE is.


• Never exposed Plame's identity



—Miller


• A free man



—Robert Novak


• Playing politics with our national security



—Bill Frist, Karl Rove


• Harry Reid



—Delivering justifiably partisan war chants




How Wrong You Are


Seems Mayor Oscar Goodman will stop at nothing to promote Las Vegas' pro-sports ambition, telling the Denver Post last week, "We have no unemployment here. We're the natural place for the next team." According to the State Department of Employment, Training and Rehabilitation, Las Vegas' unemployment rate hovers around 4 percent, compared with a national rate of 5.2 percent.




Violent Nights


Sunday night: Derek Coleman, 19, was fatally shot in the parking lot of the store at 2800 S. Las Vegas Blvd.


Sunday night: A drive-by shooting on U.S. Highway 95 near Interstate 15 left a 3-year-old girl in critical condition; police are looking for a red Chevrolet Suburban with Minnesota license plates.


Saturday night: Derrick MacFarland, 20, was fatally shot at an apartment complex at 4450 Karen Ave., east of Lamb Boulevard.


Saturday night: A man, whose name authorities haven't released, was stabbed to death in an apartment complex in the 2600 block of Sherwood Street.




Monorail Revamped


A few days ago Bank of Nevada signed a three-year advertising deal with the city's monorail that is expected to pump some much needed revenue into the underperforming train system. According to the Review-Journal, talks are underway with other companies to provide advertising on trains and stations. Some local possibilities we think would work:



Wynn Las Vegas:


For its sponsorship of the monorail, Wynn continues its theme of presenting a blank face to passersby by shading all the trains' windows. The slogan: "A collection of imperfect trips."



Taxicab Authority of Southern Nevada:


A counterintuitive advertising campaign, designed to unbalance rail-riders and make then feel vaguely guilty. The slogan: "We got your monorail right heah!"



McCarran International Airport and the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce:


A combined marketing push to generate interest in extending the monorail to where it should have gone all along, from the airport to Downtown. The slogan: "Please ride this train so we can get more money from Congress to extend the system. Did we say please?"

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