ARIES
(March 21-April 20)
As an astrologer, I love a Mercury retrograde (starting tomorrow). But when it's retro it can be a poltergeist, using your bank book, car, phone or brain as its personal play station. Since you sextile Mercury-ruled Gemini, mental shrapnel could come at you, so duck, all you rams out there, and be comforted by the fact that in three weeks everything will be (kinda) back to normal. Love: a full Capricorn Moon tonight spells magic; Career: as it does for business; Health: lay in guided meditation tapes featuring harps and waterfalls.
TAURUS
(April 21-May 21)
Being a fixed sign, you don't like a Mercury retrograde, with its freaky-deaky moments that occur over a three-week period (in fact, one starts tomorrow). Your car may talk to you, or you'll find out that your partner's a hit man (or woman). Write a blockbuster screenplay and make a pile of dough, and do enjoy the full Moon in Capricorn today, though I'd trot, not gallop, up to possible soul mates. Love: coy; Career: you catch a snafu in time; Health: ask LensCrafters about their rose-colored glasses.
GEMINI
(May 22-June 21)
It's ba-a-ck! I'm speaking of impish, never-dull Mercury retrograde (beginning tomorrow), and three weeks of fun and games inside that already-crowded head of yours. Merc is your ruler, so your superego will cause you to cringe when you screw up frequently or, if you're lucky, just one gigantic time. The good news: When it's over, it's really, truly over, and (hopefully) you won't even remember it. Love: like buttah under a full Moon tonight; Career: some things must not be deleted; Health: charmed, I'm sure.
CANCER
(June 22-July 22)
Mercury retrograde won't affect you much because you're too busy dancing and singing, "Bye-bye Saturn, bye-bye!" You're thrilled to have the old goat off your back. A note of caution, however: You could have planets in Leo (many crabs do). You'll soon find out. If your lost wallet shows up in the pocket of a new lover you meet in the next three weeks, check your chart for mercurial leanings. Love: full Moon in earthy Capricorn could prove fertile tonight; Career: cancel the office bungee-jump; Health: ditto.
LEO
(July 23-Aug. 23)
Mercury's in Leo, so you can't just tiptoe away without getting tagged "It!" as Mercury retrogrades from tomorrow to August 15. It could bug a big cat like you, especially since solemn Saturn just entered Leo, too. Take the month off (at least mentally) and when your computer announces it doesn't want to work for you anymore, or your car croaks like a frog, stay in the moment and don't try to do it all yourself; call in tech support. Love: smile back; Career: back up your files; Health: back off now and then.
VIRGO
(Aug. 24-Sept. 22)
You know that scene in The Exorcist when the girl's head spins around and she vomits in all directions? Well, Mercury retrograde Friday through August 15 won't be that bad; you'll only think it is. Merc's your planetary ruler, so when it's retro (3X a year) you tend to feel a tad bedeviled. It's hard for you because you're into details, and during a retro they can go hellishly awry. Take heart. When it's over, it's over and you'll barely remember it. Love: let go; Career: spell-check; Health: appreciate it.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 23)
Three times a year Mercury, whose element is air, seems to reverse, so air-signs often feel disoriented. Just thinking about it can make you crazy, so turn off the chatter in your head for the duration of this Mercury retrograde, which begins Friday. Cheer up. The next two days delight you, as full Moon in Aquarius trines Jupiter for a big leap of fortune in your favor. Love: comes through; Career: fruitful; Health: try not to eat a telemarketer in the next three weeks. They're tough.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 24-Nov. 22)
The weekend's good for you, with Moon in fellow water sign Pisces. However, Scorpio squares Leo, where Saturn just set up shop and a Mercury retrograde enters Friday through August 15. You loathe silly confrontations based on petty disagreements, so if you want to avoid them, duck when you see them coming. They'll mutter something like, "Sneaky bastard!" but you'll just smile and thank me for the warning. Love: let them know; Career: look perplexed; Health: cool off with a strategically-placed ice pack.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 23-Dec. 20)
You'll get frazzled here and there as Mercury in Leo retrogrades Friday through August 15. You trine Leo, so miscommunications and momentary break-downs could make you feel like you're juggling hand-grenades.Remember: It's only temporary, when the phone company cuts off the juice, or your computer says your memory is faulty. If you're 58 and going through your Saturn return, it could simply be a "senior moment." Enjoy! Love: cracks you up; Career: cracklin'; Health: avoid a crack-up. Buckle up.
CAPRICORN
(Dec. 21-Jan. 20)
Mercury's retrograde for the next three weeks is in Leo, one of your astrological friends. Still, the planet of thought is a practical joker, so wherever Leo is in your chart, you could get zapped. If you need something fixed, do it ASAP, and let petty differences roll off your back. You should be quite shiny and happy tonight, however, as the full Moon in Capricorn lends inspiration to aspiration, booting up your work efforts a notch. Love: bring flowers; Career: about to pay off; Health: one a day is quite enough.
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 21-Feb. 18)
You need a Mercury retrograde (August 15) like you need another neurosis. It's one of those astrological phenomena air signs endure three times a year. This particular retro is in Leo, a sign you square. You may find yourself wrangling over stupid stuff with people you care less about, in other words a whole lotta yada-yada-yada. Since you've been warned, maybe it won't happen. Love: acknowledge it; Career: cranky business meetings require a pleasant mask; Health: crank up the A/C.
PISCES
(Feb. 19-March 20)
If you're 29 or 58, you might be having your Saturn (in Leo) return. This, with Mercury (also in Leo) retrograde through August 15, could make things a bit sluggish for you, with a sour note now and then as you bump up against something odd. Otherwise, you may have few, if any, major planets in Leo (many Pisceans don't, since the signs are far apart) so just enjoy the Moon in Pisces as it conjuncts Uranus Sunday. (Something playful this way comes). Love: sparkles; Career: pay yourself first; Health: zippy.
Martha Woodworth is a Las Vegas psychic and astrologer. For inquiries about private readings, e-mail her at [email protected] or call 866-6682.