We've Been Thinking the Same Thing Around Here, Bill, But We Didn't Want to Mention It For Fear of Creating an International Incident
On the final edition of his Real Time HBO series before a summer break, comedian Bill Maher—-over a graphic reading "Ooh La Lame"--weighed in on a certain theatrical troupe we all know and some love: "Stop Cirque du Soleil! If we hate the French so much, why did we give them Las Vegas?"
'Three-somes, Blow-Up Dolls, Lady Luck's G-Spot, Liquor Then Beer' ... Hmm, That's Dirty, Isn't It?
The Guide to Advanced Partying, made available in some guest rooms at the Hard Rock, would make Las Vegans who oppose their sexy billboards apoplectic. But "Beyond the BeerBong" is a delightful little guide for the Las Vegas partyer and a happy alternative to the Gideons' Bible. "How to Politely Split Your Time During a Threesome: Ah, the quandary. How to satisfy your fellow participants impartially? ... Find another partaker, and commence your menage a quad."
Last week, a lawsuit filed by former Nevada Highway Patrol media spokesman Sgt. Jim Olschlager against a Las Vegas motorist after the two were involved in a 2002 traffic accident was resolved out of court, the terms of the settlement undisclosed. The accident, which injured both drivers, occurred at Jones Boulevard and Desert Inn Road. It seems the motorist, Donald Fagan, was crossing through a green light when Olschlager, his lights and siren screaming, crashed into Fagan on the way to an accident scene to brief the press. However, a local police investigation concluded that Olschlager shouldn't have gone into emergency mode because the wreck he was responding to had happened 30 minutes earlier and the victim was already dead. Additionally, the Highway Patrol said he appeared to violate policy.
Oh yeah, Bambi ... To quote the lawsuit: "Bambi Olschlager has been deprived of her husband's society and companionship and it has not been possible for him to perform his normal duties as a husband and has hindered his ability to support and maintain plaintiff Bambi Olschlager."
Maintaining Bambi? Sounds like an AVN award-winner in the making.
This Just In
The U.S. economy created 274,000 jobs in April.
Steve Wynn has taken credit for all but four of them.
Monte Carlo's magician Lance Burton is discontinuing the discounted fares previously extended to military personnel.
The price of liberty is not only eternal vigilance but also, full-price disappearing acts.
You win, Mr. Kill Bill: We were deeply creeped out by the story you concocted and helmed: the claustrophobic terror of CSI Nick Stokes (George Eads) buried alive in a Plexiglas casket, equipped with a gun and a tape-recorded message from his tormentor, suggesting he blow his brains out; the casket webcam that allowed his horrified colleagues to watch him slowly go insane while they raced to find him; the dastardly fire ants that began to eat Nick alive as his casket began to crack; the certifiably disgusting, delirious dream sequence of Nick watching his own autopsy; and the literally explosive climax. It was a double triumph in the finest grossout tradition of both CSI and Tarantino, who told TV Guide he was interested in doing his own series. We're so there—riveted and retching at every episode.
"We want to educate ourselves on the social ramifications of having a casino. We want to know how a casino affects the city's communal life and how the police and other law enforcement authorities deal with the issue."
"The idea completely contradicts Israel's values as a Jewish state, and everything must be done so it would not be realized."
"Whatever you want, whenever you want, if you can afford it."
Robert Bigelow, the billionaire founder of Budget Suites, wants to build a hotel in space, so it was only a matter of time before someone—in this case, the government of Macau—would float the idea of an underwater casino, a veritable Atlantic City Atlantis.
The government of Macau has tentatively agreed to grant land for the City of Dreams resort, featuring an underwater casino hall with a capacity of 450 gaming tables and 3,000 slot machines. One of the partners in the project, Melco International Development Ltd., said in a statement that the casino "will be surrounded by water and marine life." The $1 billion project will also have apartments, 2,000 hotel rooms, a shopping mall and a 4,000-seat performance hall.
Why are all of these small children dancing around my car in the drive-through lane? Are they children, or Oompah-Loompahs at this sweet factory? Why are families tailgating in the parking lot—literally sitting on the open gates of their trucks, at 8 o'clock on a Friday night? Sheridan's Custard, on Eastern south of St. Rose, has created some phenomenal buzz, apparently. We wait in line at the drive-thru for 10 minutes; five cars ahead. Finally I get my Sweet Pea Sundae—no peas, just creamy, dreamy, cold smooth vanilla custard, hot chocolate syrup and bananas, and my cohort gets the purists' vanilla custard straight up, and we park in the lot with everyone else to slurp down a nostalgic Friday night experience: a visit to the neighborhood custard shop, deliciously worth the drive.
The custard itself? Rivals Luv-It.