Dear Josh Bell,
Regarding your review of Monster-In-Law (in which Bell says he misses Jane Fonda's days as an aerobics instructor), (the movie was) just entertaining, and by the sounds of laughter at Tinseltown Theaters in Louisville, Kentucky, this past Saturday, you're completely off-base. It was a lighthearted movie that let you sit back and laugh. Funniest movie I've seen in quite some time.
Dear Josh Bell,
Regarding Star Bores (Bell said of Revenge of the Sith, "There is nothing fun about Sith, except maybe the opening space battle ..."), I agree with your review 100 percent. I remember liking the original Star Wars when I was younger but this movie was a snooze-fest.
I thought the squeaking noise my seat made was more interesting than this film. It wasn't totally bad but it was mind-numbingly boring.
Your review is probably the only accurate one out there.
Dear Josh Bell, Star Wars "Critic,"
Star Wars 3 kicks ass. You do not.
Dear Josh Bell,
I was going to write about how stupid your Episode III review was but then, before typing this e-mail, I Googled you. Since you have tomatoes on Rotten Tomatoes for Sin City, Closer and Sideways, I shall not talk massive amounts of shit to thee. Episode I and II did blow hard from a critic's perspective, but I liked the stories. And I am a blinded fan. But still, that is weird, dude.
Oh, and the whole thing where movie reviewers dismiss CG characters and other creations is really getting old too. Not that it is needed to make a great film, but the amount of effort that goes into that shit would BLOW YOUR MIND! If you just don't like it, OK, but people always talk about it as though it is this lower thing when it is totally the reverse.
CG is used all the time in movies where people don't know it is there. If nothing else it just connects sets together that are not adjacent in real life. People know what is fake, whether it is a puppet, or an animated 3D NURBS model.
How old are you?
Dear Josh Bell,
Hey dude, for some movie critic who says he's not a Star Wars fan, your review suggests maybe you wished you were.
I caught your review because your review was one of a very few "negative" reviews of the flick. But word of mouth and money will make this film a mammoth hit. OK, you didn't like the film, but Mr. Lucas gave it his all to be entertaining. This was the "adult" Star Wars and man, I did like it and you almost did, too.
Mr. Bell,
I do not understand your misguided view of this film ...
You claim to not know much about the Star Wars universe, but you make endless comparisons to the previous films. You mentioned that there was little feeling for the characters as well. I, and 90 percent of the viewing public, seemed to think there were good performances for all the characters.
I am disappointed in your obviously biased and overanalyzed (albeit analyzed with incomplete facts) opinion of this very good film.
Shame.
Dear Josh Bell,
f--ker
To the Editor:
I am writing to you because I am hoping that you are not as jaded as the rest of the country. You're probably thinking, "This is Vegas, baby, good luck." I was shocked and dismayed to learn that Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau had gotten married on Friday. By the way, for exclusive rights to this joyous (eeewww) event, Entertainment Tonight allegedly gave the couple quite a nice wedding gift to the tune of $1 million. Am I crazy in thinking that not only is something, but everything is wrong with this picture?
Everyone remembers this, right? She was accused, charged and convicted of raping Fualaau in the sixth grade when he was only 12 years old! The couple had an ongoing affair that resulted in her giving birth to two children by Fualaau. From what I've read, she served over seven years in prison for her crimes and is out of prison on parole, hence, why they can't go away and have a proper honeymoon. Quick, hand over the barf bag real quick. I might be sick. Keep in mind, she is 43 years old and a convicted sex offender. He is 22 and the victim in the case! She is a rapist under Washington state law. Plain and simple. How many victims of rape actually marry their attacker? I don't know for sure, but I'll guess and say that it isn't very many. Rape is about violence and control. Not really about sex at all. This is a classic case of control. She wanted a pet, I guess, and I see that she got her prize in the end.
I'll bet that he has either been brainwashed in some crazy way or is suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Where are his parents? Has he had counseling? Is he deluded and suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder? Not one article I have read mentions any of the above issues at all! Has the whole country lost its mind? I know that victims of rape have many resources available to them providing they want the help. There has got to be a missing link in this disgusting chain of events.
As a mother myself, (I have two children, a son, 14, and a daughter, 7), I know for sure, without a doubt, that at 12 years old no one is mature enough to make decisions relating to sex or relationships. My son was still playing with Yu-Gi-Oh cards and just rolling along in that awkward but cool time between being a boy and becoming a man.
Let me also add one more thing before I end this, please. IF I EVER, EVER, caught an ADULT anywhere near one of my children in this manner or any manner that I deem inappropriate, I think it would be a fight to the death between myself and Metro to see who got to that pedophile first. Betcha I'd win every time! Hey, thanks for letting me vent this to you. Love your paper, been reading it since it was Scope!
Sincerely,