Five-time Emmy-winner Dennis Miller just performed at the MGM Grand in June, but this time around he's on the bill as a featured performer at The Comedy Festival. He's not merely performing. Over the course of two hour-long sets at Caesars Colosseum, he'll be taping his seventh HBO stand-up special. Two days before turning 52, still staunch in his conservatism and ready to take it easy for awhile, Miller expatiated on the upcoming gig, the government, and his (lack of) future plans.
On how his special came to be involved with the festival:
All I know is, every comedian I've ever met in my life started calling me and telling me they were going to be in Vegas. Larry David, Jerry (Seinfeld)'s going to be there, Jon (Stewart), George (Lopez). It's like the U.N., or the Dead Comics' Society. Robin (Williams) comes in, he can teach us all how to read lit-tra-chah!
On why he wasn't asked to take part in the Earth to America! taping for TBS:
I'm not sold completely on global warming. Not that I don't distrust the temperature figures from now, but when they say they've changed over the last 100 years, I always say I'm not sure I trust them from the year 1905. We were still shitting outside in the woods; I'm supposed to believe they had a stranglehold on the Fahrenheit at the Earth's magma? "Ezekial, put the candle wick down the gopher hole, let's get a baseline for a future reading ...." It might have been off back then.
On what the audience can expect his material to include:
My first 51 minutes are on Scooter Libby. No, I don't quite know what Scooter's done yet. I'll have to read up on it. I'm like (David) Letterman; I heard him say, "Every time I go to read an article on Scooter Libby, I start chuckling to myself and I can't go any further." It's the same reason I can't order certain ice creams at Baskin-Robbins: The names are too weird. I always end up getting chocolate or vanilla because I can't say, "I'll have the Gollum's Dandruff."
Let's see, what topics am I talking about? The environment a little; the state of California. I've got a lot of the goofy, loopy jokes this time. I'm not sure causal-oriented comedians are in right now. I think you should kind of try to write some funny jokes, so I've got a big chunk of those in there. The new pope and, let's see, gay marriage and gay parades, the economy, senators, and the fact that Howard Dean never shuts up and occasionally we have to hood him like a falcon so he can sleep.
On whether he's recently experienced a shift on the political spectrum:
I'm a little more angry that we don't protect our border, and as far as the war itself, it is a heartbreak, but I believe it had to be initiated. Quite frankly, as a 52-year-old man, I don't think I'll see the end of it. All these people expected it to be in and out and it'll be over, tie a ribbon on it. I didn't think that. I think we're at war with radical Islamic fundamentalists probably for the next 50 to 100 years. So no, I haven't changed. I'm very saddened by it, and it's depressing, heartbreaking. It's the maddening nature of being a human being. It's so inconsistent, but I do know this: If those guys are left alone completely, it's going to be carte blanche for terror. We're going to have to track and destroy every single one of them, so I admire the fact that at least Bush pushed the pebble down the hill the other way.
On the government's response to Hurricane Katrina:
I'd say it was a day late. I think he was probably on vacation and nobody wanted to bug him. I see a lot of screw-ups by public people. I'm not looking for perfection in them. There was a wealth of mistakes to go around down there. It was almost like a perfect storm of events: I think the Fagan guy got flummoxed; I think the governor was in completely over her head; I think Bush's cronyism caught up to him, hiring that guy to head FEMA; that good-ole-boy thing that he does once in a while. Bush spending an extra day at the ranch before getting down there, a mistake. Rove being off. Rove might have been the one guy to say, "Hey, hey, hey, put down the pick, we're going to New Orleans. Tonight." So there were mistakes made by everybody. One group that I don't know made a mistake was the National Guard, who some people have found wanting because they didn't want to go in there. All I know is this: If you go into that town, one of two things can happen to you. You can get shot, or you can shoot somebody. And if you shoot somebody, it might be worse than getting shot, 'cause they're going to make your life a living hell. Gonna say you went in there and started picking off people who were searching for groceries, you know? It's a no-winner. The whole thing was ugly, and I blame the whole kit and caboodle. And guess what? If I would have worked there and that was my turf, I would have f--ked up, too.
On whether it's a dangerous time for political comedy, especially for a conservative:
Well, I would say I'm in the catbird seat to judge that, since I'm the only one who's been on both sides. Over the last year, I have found the left to be much angrier when you don't agree with them than the right was when I didn't agree with them. Everybody else can just theorize about it, but I've actually done it, and I find that the left gets a little crankier.
On whether he watches HBO specials One through Six:
You know, I don't. This is my seventh and George (Carlin) is doing his 10th or 11th this week, and it boggles my mind that he can get that together. I think (Robert) Klein did eight, so I think I'm possibly third in line, so that makes me proud. But not proud enough to go ... you know, I'm sure they're on Betamax tapes from back in the beginning, when the technology wasn't as sleek as it is now. So I'm sure I could go back and find some tape that's 4 feet by 6 feet and pop it into some Flintstone viewer, but I haven't yet.
On future projects coming up after the comedy festival:
Nothing. You're not going to hear from me for a long time after this. Just going to take it easy. Got some places I want to go; want to lead a less-showbizzy life, so this is a good place to take off for awhile. I've earned it. I've been busting my tuchas now for 30 years, so I'm going to take a break. I think most people are like, "Good! Take a break! We've seen it! Go rest!"