Don't You Just Hate It When You're Expecting a Lovecraftian Tale of Psychological Horror and Get a New England Version of Redneck Rampage Instead?
I read your Sore Thumbs column in the LV Weekly, but it always seems that you review games I'm not interested in, or you review them months after I played them. I think the obvious solution is to reprioritize this New Year's and spend the next 8,760 hours doing nothing but playing video games.
That said, you should review Bethesda's Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth for Xbox. The gaming public should be warned early and often about games this bad. I mean, it's supposed to be a Lovecraftean tale of psychological horror, but it plays like a New England version of Redneck Rampage. Enduring endless jumping puzzles while being chased by a mass of zombified cast members from Deliverance is torturous but not terrifying.
Your Questions About Our Review of Walk the Line Answered, in Order: Yes, We Get Paid to Write that Crap. Yes, We Think Before We Write. Well, We Sorta Get Paid to Think, a Few Cents an Hour, at Least.
I am not a movie junkie, never have been, never will be.
Most movies are crap, produced merely to waste the money of people who have nothing better to do. Most actors are lucky being in the right place at the right time—but NOT in this film. Rivers is the guy to beat for Best Actor, and I hope he wins.
Your comments are irrelevant and seemingly similar to most all movies other than Walk The Line. Do you get paid for writing the crap I just read? How about thinking before you write? But you don't get paid to think, do you? I don't get paid to write or think ... you should be finished, as in over and out.
Editor's note:
Wait, "Rivers is the guy to beat for Best Actor?" Do you mean Joan Rivers—what guy did she play? Or do you mean basketball journeyman Doc Rivers? Or Carl Rivers, assistant coach for the Western Connecticut State University Colonials baseball team? Or Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo? Surely you don't mean River—no S—Phoenix, famously dead brother of Joaquin Phoenix, who played Johnny Cash in Walk the Line. And you're saying you don't get paid to think ...
We Thought It Was a Reference to the Inquisition?
If you are going to have a lyric challenge, why not have the correct band in the blurb? Slayer is a Christian heavy metal group?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Good one guys—good one.
Editor's note:
Actually, we were thinking about Christian metal band Stryper when we typed Slayer—issues of redemption through bad music are much on our minds these days.
Finally, a Letter About the Girls
Throwing yourself a party with "some" of your favorite cover models could be compared to drinking decaf coffee: It's OK, but it's not the same. The model you chose for your cover, and those in your article, congratulating you, are standard run-of-the-mill, cookie-cutter "wannabes" that one can find circling any bar in most Strip casinos. You, in so many words, admit to this by stating you "enticed" the girls to show up at your party through "carrots" that weren't real, finishing your statement by saying, what a surprise (for them) when they came and (to their dismay) found the only "carrots" at your party were the editorial staff!
I admit to being a semi-regular reader of yours now for the last five years. Without a doubt (in my mind, anyway), one of the major reasons I pick your "flier" to read is some of your "regular" columns; Sonja of Wink being the best, for the most part. I think you did yourself (and your readers) an injustice by NOT inviting her to be on the cover of the Anniversary Issue. She represents what I think your mag is all about: Telling the truth from your perspective regarding timely events and news. Win, lose or draw, you put it out there for the public to "shoot" at it as they deem fit. Her physical beauty is icing on the cake.
She's articulate, insightful and entertaining in her writing. It takes a lot of courage (on her part) to bare her soul, as she has revealed in the past.
Editor's note:
But what did you think of our review of Walk the Line?