Dear makers of Accepted,
We regret to inform you that your film has not met with our minimal standards for admission. We find the recommendations touted in your advertisements ("From the studio that brought you American Pie!") entirely disingenuous, and your scores in such areas as humor, acting and originality decidedly subpar.
Your story of loveable loser Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long) and his creation of fictional college South Harmon Institute of Technology to cover up the fact that he was not admitted anywhere else may very well violate our standards of academic integrity, as it appears to have been plagiarized from such classic films about college antics as Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds and PCU. Specifically, recycled elements include the crusty dean who wants to take down the plucky heroes, the boorish frat boy who menaces said heroes and that frat boy's near-saintly girlfriend, who finds true love with the unassuming main character. It is possible we may pursue disciplinary action in this matter.
We are especially disappointed in the work of director Steve Pink, whose previous co-writing efforts Grosse Point Blank and High Fidelity were well above our accepted standard. Although Mr. Pink did not write the screenplay for Accepted, his responsibility as director taints his reputation within the academic community. Likewise, comedian and actor Lewis Black, who plays the embittered former professor recruited to serve as South Harmon's ersatz dean, does himself a disservice by associating with this shoddy effort.
While your film is generally genial and inoffensive, that's also one of its main faults, as we prefer boldness and creative thinking in our submissions. Your work has placed you near the bottom of our pile, only slightly above the tier reserved for movies starring Rob Schneider. Perhaps you would find more success at a direct-to-video institution. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Josh Bell