If necessity is the mother of invention, then idle hands at least must be the godfather. Anyone who watches late-night television is likely familiar with the ads from Invent-Tech, a company that purports to help nascent Edisons patent and market their creations. One of their "aggressive and creative promotional techniques" is to send out letters on behalf of inventors to local media outlets.
When first contacted by the Weekly, a spokesman for Invent-Tech declined to send us a list of local inventors, citing a desire to protect the privacy of the very people whom they've been contracted to promote. So we did the next best thing: Over the last several months, we've simply held onto their press releases instead of tossing them out. Here, then, is a sampling of the creativity bubbling over the rim in Nevada. (More information about all of the inventions here can be had by contacting the publicity and press department of Invention Technologies at 800-940-9020, extension 2285 or at [email protected].)
Say Good-Bye to Pushpin Injuries Forever!
Apparently, Hester Dillard of Carson City hurts herself with some degree of frequency when using pushpins. Three years ago, while putting up Christmas lights, she'd had enough and invented Cushioned Push Ems. Now, all of the press releases are understandably vague about specifics, but it's our guess these are pushpins with some sort of cushion on the non-pointy part, making them "great for kids."
The ‘Proof' Is in the Cap
We've all experienced the horrors of trying to replace water-cooler bottles. But North Las Vegas' Clyde Cotton has struck back with his Spill Proof Cap. "It eliminates ... potential hazards due to wet, slippery floors." Funny, that's what we thought paper towels were for.
ID Your Luggage Easily and Quickly
Not for Morris E. Freeze of Henderson are those free paper tags at airport check-in counters. He's invented My Luggage, something that somehow makes picking out your own suitcase easier in busy airports. While it seems Mr. Freeze has never waited 45 minutes or more at McCarran for his bags to show up, we do think he should be a super-villain.
New Invention Allows Farmers to 'Hit the Hay' Efficiently
Kevin Whipple of Lund realizes that feeding hay can be a tough, time-consuming chore, as is most of what happens on farms. The press release is tantalizingly vague about Whipple's creation, but we're nearly sure it's not a pitchfork.
Say Goodbye to Germs and Bacteria!
In the spirit of the neo-conservative agenda, Henderson's Gail Helm has invented the Flu Bomb, "a fast and convenient way to ensure homes are germ free." The release goes on to say the bomb is safe to use near pets and children. We love the idea of bombs we can use near pets and children.
New Invention Changes the Grade
No, this is not a way for bombed-out children to fix their report cards before bringing them home. Rather, Brandon Lee of Las Vegas has invented a product he calls—hold your breath—Auto-Tint. After filing the patent, we're guessing Lee filed suit against every glass-tinter in town for infringement.
New Womens Apparel Product Helps Disguise Unsightly Bra Straps
If you're like us, you get nauseous every time you spy a bra strap peeking out from a woman or transgendered person's blouse (if you're like us, you're also sensitive to the fact that not only women wear bras). Thank goodness Gina Warm and Mark Angel of Las Vegas came along with their Beau-jolie Bra, which basically sounds like some sort of cloth you affix to the unsightly straps so they match the color of your outfit. For instance, if you're wearing a black top, just attach the Beau-jolie Bra to your black bra strap and ... uh ....
Built to Last!
Unbeknownst to us, the life of a rearview mirror handicapped parking sign is a tough one. How else to explain the Handicapped Sign Protector, invented by Karen Mock of Las Vegas, who "conceived of this idea in early 2005 after constantly having to exchange her parents' handicap sign." Constantly exchanging? What the heck have her parents been up to, and haven't they ever heard of the back seat for that sort of thing?
Don't Lose Your Car!
Living in "today's fast-paced society" evidently has caused Las Vegas' Majid Hajizadeh Bashy to lose his car on more than one occasion. Heck, he might even be wandering around a parking lot this minute! But rather then make note of those large signs on posts or use his car alarm like the rest of us, Bashy has come up with the Easy Car Finder. We think it's a big flag, which will work until everyone else in the parking lot also has big flags on their cars.
Tame the Beast!
We admit it: Our hearts beat a little faster when we read that headline, with salacious thoughts filling our dirty minds. But rather than creating a device you might find in a corner of the AVN convention, Vegas' Jan Lamon is more concerned with dog-eared calendars and came up with Calendar Corners. Gosh, was our face red!
New Invention Provides a Brush with Convenience for Barbecuers
Mike Robinson of Las Vegas noticed that barbecuing "is enjoyed by those who are the actual consumers of the food being prepared." (In legal terms, they're called "eaters.") But Robinson's insights didn't stop there. He also noted that it takes time to cook food "properly," and that you should have clean utensils. BBQ Sauce Mop to the rescue! No, it's not a sauce brush; it's a sauce mop.
It Doesn't Rely on Anyone
Is there anything more iconic to the West than the lone, independent cowboy, riding the wilderness, surviving by grit and savvy? Surely that's what Michael G. Medberry of Las Vegas had in mind while on vacation in Costa Rica and coming up with the Self Reliant Pool Pump. Using "alternative energy sources" (our guess: um, sunlight?), it keeps your rugged swimming pool filtered, thereby increasing tough, no-nonsense water clarity.
Frying Doesn't Have to Be Fattening
Out in Ely, Wiley N. Brooks loves his "bacon, burgers and other greasy foods" but doesn't like the fat content. Where most people would either shrug or do something crazy like switching to a more healthful diet, Brooks invented the B & B Electric Fry Pan. An electric fry pan?! In this day and age?! It even steams vegetables—if you're one of those neo-pagan, hippie, vegan scum.
Improved Auto Part Available for Licensing at Major Trade Shows
We admit it: Our hearts beat a little faster when we read that headline, with salacious thoughts filling our dirty minds. But apparently what Henry Lujan Sr. and Margaret Lujan of Henderson have come up with is a way to avoid looking in your rearview or side-view mirrors or doing shoulder-checks. It's called the No Blind Spot Mirror and "eliminates the need to take eyes off of the road." We're not sure how we feel about the idea of people who can't physically shoulder-check being on our roads. Maybe they should be home with their electric fry pans. Electric! Have you ever heard of such a thing?!