Groups of people, New Yorker writer James Surowiecki has posited, are often more intelligent than the smartest members of those groups. His point is that collective intelligence can be more valuable than the knowledge and ideas of genius experts. I'm not sure how much I agree with Surowiecki, but this is what I'll concede after watching Miller Lite's brilliant new "Man Law" commercials: A group of manly men can come up with better standards for man conduct than the manliest man in the group.
The commercials attempt to settle some of the most important issues of manhood. Rodeo champ Ty Murray, who lives in Texas with Jewel, poses this crucial question: "Your best friend gets dumped by a girl. How long is she off limits?" A group including comedian Eddie Griffin, Steelers running back Jerome Bettis and Aron Ralston, the mountain climber who famously cut off his own right arm when he was trapped in a Utah canyon, ponder the situation, but it's Burt Reynolds, in an alpha-male role he was born to play, who dominates the discussion. In the end, Reynolds, who at first strenuously argues that the gal is off limits forever, decides that six months is a proper waiting period. Everyone agrees, and a man law is enacted.
Another vital man concern addressed is the etiquette of taking home beer you brought to a party if nobody drinks it. Wrestler Triple H gets so exasperated during this argument that he rips off his own shirt before Griffin settles the issue; he gets the group to agree that taking one beer back is fine, if you can fit it into your pocket.
The commercials are hilarious because they're so deadpan, because the fellas make it seem like these are the most crucial issues they've ever faced. I've seen these bits dozens of times during the NBA playoffs, and I'm still not bored. And I'm now convinced that this is pretty great art that says a lot about mankind.
A group of men who just want to sit around drinking beer or eating nachos can pretty much settle any issue, or simply forget about it, in seconds. Men don't really want conflict or controversy. We just want to chill out. We just want to be done. Sure, we'll get passionate for a moment or two, but that passes as soon we realize that the gal in the stands is really hot or that Devin Harris is racing down the floor like his ass is on fire.
Last night, some buddies and I got into a spirited debate about whether Ben Wallace could take Shaq in a fight (Wallace so obviously could). It only lasted about 15 seconds because then the Mets won in the 13th inning or it was time to deal the next poker hand; I can't really remember.
This might be an extremely Maxim-ish, simplistic way to look at men, so I should confess: I don't read Maxim, and I don't even drink beer. But these commercials speak to me in the way they probably speak to all American men saddled with daily responsibilities, men doing their best to pay the bills, fix the refrigerator, take care of their loved ones and do the right thing as often as possible. Life can be chaotic and tough, even for the huge majority of us who will never have to consider amputating our own limbs. Sometimes we need order, even a ridiculous form of it that we create in 15 seconds. We need man laws.