Just so we're all on the same page ...
"Cock blocker or cockblocker /kak-blak-er/ n 1: any person who consciously or unconsciously prevents another from their pursuit of sexual advancement or sexual relations. 2: one who keeps another from attempting a goal or interest."
Ahem.
Subtle as a sledgehammer, Cock Blocker Clothing has been making a scene in sportswear since 2005. Mark James, CBC's creator and CEO, used to be behind the scenes in TV Land. A victim of the age-old cock block by a big-name celebrity one too many times, he struck back. Cue the ever-popular commentary T-shirt declaring your innermost thoughts, desires and offhanded observations in all their graphic glory.
What's so special about CBC's particular brand of callous camp? It's naughty but just shy of nasty, and funny without ever approaching flippant. "I like girls with scoliosis" and the silhouette of a dance-floor diva striking that bust-thrusting pose for her favorite party paparazzo—maybe it hits a little close to home, but it's totally true to life. C'mon, a "Buddha never got married" ringer in enlightened earth tones? And if you really think about it, Santa is a slut. CBC cites the simple fact that he "gives it up to everyone, everywhere, all over the world," and what better way to call Claus out than a thermal emblazoned with your charge.
CBC women's wear is for the girl with gusto. Tops are embellished with "I scream" accompanied by an outline of a single-scoop cone to get your mind out of the gutter, or an "Eat chocolate" with the "naked" hidden at the hip for the opposite effect. Salacious statements such as "Even good girls like to get their hair pulled" with a perfectly poised hand print or the "Girls toys r not for boys" complete with a toy-box rendering grace the brand's boy-beater tanks.
If ever you're in need of an explanation, CBC's stretchy spaghetti strap "Because I am good at it" cami has you covered. And their "blocker" and "child at play" hot shorts under a "Jesus loves me Satan adores me" dress serve as sexy sleepwear and convenient warning signs.
Visit CBC's online store at
www.cockblockerclothing.com
Jennifer Henry's got the goods on what to get & where. E-mail her at
[email protected].