Jim Florentine's two Meet the Creeps DVDs, four Terrorizing Telemarketers CDs and last year's Get the Kids Out of the Room album are proof the DIY revolution doesn't only benefit indie bands. Before shooting a Creeps pilot for Comedy Central, the Howard Stern Show regular hits town with The Rev. Bob Levy, Craig Gass, Sal the Stockbroker and Yucko the Clown.
I'm sure you have patently unprintable stories from previously touring with these guys.
Well, there's a lot of alcohol consumed before and after the show. Most comedians drink water and tea and go back to their room afterwards. We're not like that. We're like the Motley Crue of Comedy.
Do you have an all-time favorite Terrorizing Telemarketers call?
Probably the one where I pretend that I'm giving my grandfather a bath. He doesn't shut up during the course of the call, and I end up drowning him in the tub, and the lady doesn't even care. I'm like, "What should I do? I don't want to get in trouble! He's not breathing!" She's like, "Well, just say that he fell." And then she actually called back a little while later, like, "What happened to your grandfather?" I'm like, "Oh, he died." She goes, "Well, maybe it was time for him to go." Just to make that sell, that's what they'll do. So that's my favorite.
Anything else big on the horizon?
There's rumors that Crank Yankers is going to come back for another season. I'm one of the voices on the show. Hopefully we'll know something in the next couple weeks, which would be great. You know, getting paid to make prank phone calls isn't a bad living. I'd be doing it for free, anyway.
Loosely Held Convictions |
1. Deleting every e-mail sent "with high importance" will have no tangible impact on your life.
2. Starship Featuring Mickey Thomas is coming to Las Vegas on June 23, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Incisive Literary Criticism Practiced Here! |
The Spotter's Guide to the Male Species
Juliette Wills
Quirk Books, $12.95
What men can learn about women learning about men from this book:
1. If you don't look like Elvis in a white
T-shirt and jeans, they think you're a loser.
2. They don't like it when you scream at waitresses.
3. Size does matter.
4. Money does matter. Probably more than size.
5. They'll snoop through your garbage when you're not looking.
6. Living at home past a certain age is bad.
7. They spend far too much time studying what, when and how we eat.
8. Real-estate agent, cop, construction worker—bad. Fireman, commodity broker—good.
9. Did we mention money matters? A lot?
10. None of our pickup lines work. Not a one.
11. They should be okay with us falling asleep afterwards. It gives them a chance to go through our garbage.
12. They overanalyze everything.
Local CD |
DUCE BOYS
From: The Ghetto To: The Grammys (2.5 stars)
Normally a good thing, versatility actually hurts the Duce Boys, preventing the rap trio from congealing their disparate musical parts—hailing from the Dirty South and New York—into a solid cohesive. The Southern tracks could've been crunker, the East Coast tunes grittier, the beats less obtrusive (lyrics shouldn't have to compete for attention). A less-is-more approach—12 songs instead of 19—would've better showcased that versatility.