I wouldn't say I'm hungover. I'm too tired for that, and I think a splitting headache might actually give me a much-needed energy boost. As it is, I can't remember if I brushed my teeth, I blanked out on my parents' address for the all-important Father's Day card and my body feels like I've gone nine rounds with a freight train. And I still have two nights to go.
June 11, Foundation Room, Mandalay Bay
Acrophobic screenwriter Quentin Lee isn't sure how sturdy the Foundation Room patio is as he peers out over the city. At least that's what his legs are telling him as they go numb. CineVegas has taken over the private club atop Mandalay Bay for the night, serving up cocktails made from Hypnotiq and Pama; samosas, ribs and chicken wings; and one of the best views Vegas has to offer. Blake Hillbourne, whose Ocean View short is in the CCSN Showcase, is wowed by the cityscape, it being his first time up here. I wander about, from the patio to the main room and down the hall to Shangri-la. A cluster of young women dance in front of the fireplace as DJ Presto One spins. I get stopped to have my photo taken in front of a CineVegas backdrop and am joined by a strange, older blonde who, I think, kicks up her leg. I say think because I keep my eyes focused straight ahead.
Bobcat Goldthwait is here, as are Johnny Brendan and his girlfriend, Diva, and Ben Foster, who plays Angel in the new X-Men movie. I meet Kevin Koster, an assistant director on TV's Bones, which is more thrilling to me than any mutant since the show's creator, Hart Hanson, was my boss back at the CBC in Vancouver, Canada, when I was a fresher-faced college grad. Kevin declares Pardon My Downfall the "film of the millennium." I try to keep quiet about me not having time to see movies between my partying and office-working.
June 12, Jet, Mirage
There's a huge pileup of people outside the doors—in other words, it's just like every other Monday night at Jet, whose weekly locals/industry night is a force to be reckoned with. Well, except for the cheers that go up from the crowd every time someone new is photographed at the step-and-repeat. Inside, DJ Crooked is in the main room, with DJs Neva and Eddie McDonald spinning in the two smaller areas. Clips from various festival films are showing on the walls, and a couple is already dancing atop one of the banquettes. The ceiling's light display is flashing faster than my neurons can process, and I retreat to listen to McDonald and chat with Eva Aridjis, writer and director of The Favor, and Kevin Crust, journalist for the LA Times, who both quiz me about Vegas nightclubs. I'm distracted when I see Johnny Brendan walk by in a T-shirt as opposed to his usual tank-tops. Later, I run into Jason Dinant, who asks that his name now be spelled J.Son. The rest of the night is a blur, the highlight being five Wisconsin women in matching Coyote Ugly shirts celebrating a birthday/bachelorette party. The quintet tears up the club, winding up dancing in the CineVegas VIP area into the early hours. I don't know what they put in the cheese in Wisconsin, but if the cows in California make good cheese because they're happy, the ones in Wisconsin must be ecstatic.
June 13, Shark Reef, Mandalay Bay
Yes, you read that right; we're partying in the aquarium, and a cooler venue you could not find in Vegas. The festival has taken over the entire complex. Sinatra is being piped in, cocktails and food are being served (though I'm disappointed there's no seafood) and Cirque du Soleil O performers are mingling and posing. Penn Jillette takes a stroll with Robin and Danny Greenspun, while I chat about movies I haven't seen with Steve and Judy "Flick Chick" Thorburn. Siblings Evan and Adam Nix, whose short Mustache Melodrama is in the CCSN shorts program, and their sister Alison, are hanging out by the golden crocodiles. With sharks swimming overhead, I meet Lauri Blue, who is repping Park and 5 Up 2 Down, along with 5 Up's coproducer Justin Hogan, writer-director Steve Kessler and cowriter Brady Hart, and Dana Jackson, who produced Park, when not teaching pole-dancing back in LA. As a matter of fact, Lauri and Dana have worked out a deal where Lauri will rep Park in exchange for lessons from Dana.
June 13, Forty Deuce, Mandalay Bay
After the Shark Reef party closes down, everyone heads across property to Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce burlesque and nightclub. I geek out when I meet Michael Ferraro and Mark Bell, who work for Film Threat magazine, which I read religiously when I lived in LA. Michael is hanging out with Miriam Makhyun, a tall, beautiful girl who works as an intern in Sen. Harry Reid's office and as a cocktail waitress at Mandalay Bay's pool. I tell her I just filed a story on Reid's appearance at the Yearly Kos convention from my conservative perspective, and we immediately get into it. Being a Democrat, she's naturally wrong on every point, but we hug at the end. As the last burlesque dancer leaves the stage and DJ Benny Black hits the turntables, the room explodes as people start jumping up to take her place, including Henry Lee Hopper, Dennis' son. Ian Jankelowitz, CineVegas party organizer supreme, urges me to get on the bar and dance—which I do, briefly and badly. It's Miriam, with her years of dance training, who steals the show. It's nearly enough to make me switch parties, but then Ann Coulter would probably stop being my MySpace friend.
June 14, Voodoo Lounge, Rio
I think Quentin is holding his breath as we ride the glass-enclosed elevator up to the top of the Rio. Upstairs, Philly cheese steaks are being served at a table, over which hangs a hunk of beef and some boxing gloves—an homage to Sylvester Stallone, who was presented with the CineVegas and Brendan Theatres Star Award earlier in the day. Sly's not here, but Eva Aridjis is, having ventured off-Strip to the Double Down, which she fell in love with. For all the Double Down's charms, it doesn't have flair bartenders, and the crowd has no problem waiting for their drinks while watching bottles and tins fly through the air. I'm here with my wife, Biana, and our best friend from San Francisco, Gordon Grigor. I was the officiator for Gordon and his wife's wedding, thanks to an online church. Yep, that's right, I'm a reverend. Not bad for an atheist Jew. What I'm here without, I discover as I try and open a tab at the bar, is my American Express card. I realize I must have left it at Forty Deuce and for a second, I experience Quentin's leg-numbing feeling. Jason Leinwand says the screening for his short Wrestling With the Past "went really well. I can relax now." His fellow cast member from The Sopranos' Last Supper, a comedy dinner-theater show at Krave, Terilynn Jones, starts dancing with a couple of other people and soon has a circle cleared and an audience cheering from both levels of the patio. I'm shocked when I look up and there's Quentin, standing on the curving outside staircase between the floors. Apparently, the tall blonde in the silver-metallic outfit is enough to at least temporarily cure him of his fear of heights.
June 14, Gold Coast
Biana's exhausted and has the luxury of going home, but I have to press on ahead, with Gordon in tow, because tonight is the traditional bowling party at the Gold Coast. We arrive just in time to scoop up the last of the retro-hip CineVegas bowling shirts. As cool as I think they are, the CineVegas staff has them beat with their T-shirts based on the Oakland Raiders' logo. But no one can hold a sartorial candle to Programming Director Trevor Groth, wearing the Raiders shirt and short-shorts—so short, in fact, his boxers hang down below. As opposed to Trevor's golf-themed outfit from the other night (which his wife, Susan, picked out), Susan tells me that this selection was all his doing. Everybody hits the lanes, even Jerry Olivarez, Johnny Brendan's PR man, who bowls a successful frame in full suit and tie.
June 15, Tao, Venetian
No time to get my credit card back as Biana and I meet up with Gordon, and it almost feels like San Francisco again, except the entire Bay Area doesn't have any nightclub that comes close to Tao. We're joined by Jennifer Henry, the Weekly's Consumer columnist, and her husband, Brian, an artist. A private Dennis Hopper birthday celebration is being held in the first room off the elevators, and it's packed. By the time I wedge my body up to the bar, I'm so desperate to get everyone their drinks that I screw up and find myself holding two Stoli Bluberi cosmos. There's nothing to do but knock them both back as quickly as I can ... uh, to avoid getting bumped and spilling them on myself, of course. As the party moves into the club's cavernous main room, I find a perplexed Kevin Koster staring at one of Tao's models lounging half-naked in a bathtub. Rather than explain the club's tableau concept, I ask him if he saw the two models in lingerie caressing each other. Turning the corner, he's stunned. "I'm too young for this."
June 16, Hardwood Suite, Palms
A unicycle basketball game is in progress, complete with referee. The riders are part of the King Charles Troupe out of the Bronx; sort of Harlem Globetrotters meets, well, unicyclists. I see Kevin again, and as he watches the game, it doesn't seem he's recovered from Tao yet. "This is insanity," he says. The game ends and DJ Inferno takes over the decks as people take shots at the basket, eat from the buffet table or roam about. Xania Woodman, the Weekly's Nights on the Circuit columnist and creator of TheCircuitLV.com, is here, along with Matt Hunter, one of the Weekly's movie critics. My American Express card is not, however. I spot Eva in the crowd, and chat with Chuck Nice, who is putting together a show for E! starring DJ Keoki. Maybe it's some energy generated by the unicyclists left floating in the air, but the party gets wild. One guest is wandering around in a bathrobe, someone else slips on the basketball court (but bounces right up), and there are body shots going on in the upstairs suite. Insanity, indeed.
June 17, Pool, Green Valley Ranch
This is it, the week culminating in a party of legendary proportions, a mix of CineVegas finale and Vegas magazine anniversary taking up the entire pool area and Whiskey Beach with a mix of bars, buffet tables, go-go dancers and DJs. The hottest girls from Fantasy, La Femme and X Girls are on hand, and I hear magician Nathan Burton has his own shapely posse. Laser holograms are projected over the pool, in case there's a wow-factor deficit. Biana joins me tonight, having rested up earlier in the day, but I am still credit-cardless. We chat with Leonard Stone, a partner with the Shook & Stone law firm, and his wife, Judy, who works for Pure Management Group. Jerry Misko of Dust Gallery is on hand, as are Jack Lafleur of Body English and Rehab fame and his stunning girlfriend, Jamie Frontz (who says she's a pro at push-lawn mowers). We say hi to Yvette Brown from I Want to Be a Hilton and hang out with publicist and author Michael Coldwell and his wife, Heather, with VegasHotSpots, who proclaims "I have the best shoes here!"
A Neiman Marcus fashion show takes place on the bridge spanning the pool, while inside the back bar, Where magazine Editor Jennifer Prosser chats with Monti Rock III. Tao operating partner Jason Strauss, his beautiful girlfriend, Rachel Uchitel, and recent birthday girl Amber Anderson maneuver toward the bar. James Reza and Staci Linklater of Globe Salon, a regular favorite in the Weekly's Readers' Choice Awards, are there. I say hello to Frank Marino, star of La Cage, and DJ All Nite Mike, star of the Shadow Bar (if you don't count the silhouettes).
As the party winds down at midnight, the momentum from the week is still pushing at me. With Playboy Playmate Ashley J. Le in tow, there's nothing to do but head over to Pure. Just call me a glutton for punishment.
June 18, Forty Deuce
I get my American Express card back and am relieved to learn it hadn't bought bottles of champagne for the burlesque dancers in my absence.