Oscars of Our Very Own

Will Ferrell, The Producers

While the cast, toplined by Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, was stellar, Ferrell, succeeding the daft Kenneth Mars as the screen Franz Liebkind, author of Springtime for Hitler, was the only actor to craft a new dimension onto one of the well-worn roles.

Whereas Mars in the non-musical, 1968 original was hilariously intense in his fascist frenzy, bringing this nutjob to a carefully calibrated comic boil, Ferrell concocted a more, well, for lack of a better description, cuddly Nazi, perhaps playing to a generation of his fans less familiar with the stick-up-the-ass, goose-stepping stereotype. Just as uproarious as Mars, Ferrell's Franz was a more broad comic creation that perfectly suited the breezier style of a full-blown musical, as opposed to the precision mechanics of screwball comedy.

George Clooney's paunch and beard in Syriana

Anytime George Clooney looks less like George Clooney, it's a mercy crumb of hope to us mere mortal males. But as the dedicated-turned-disenchanted CIA spook sinking in the largely unfathomable quicksand of international oil-bidness intrigue, Clooney shed that dogged persona of Movie Star Posing and finally fused with a character audiences could care about in an otherwise personality-starved political tract with stick-figured stereotypes.

In a lightweight riff on Robert DeNiro's astounding physical transformation in Raging Bull (or even Charlize Theron's in Monster), Clooney utilized the flabby flesh and shaggy whiskers not simply to hide behind, but to inhabit a troubled soul, creating a portrait of disillusionment that felt fully lived in.

Tie: "The Tango Maureen" and "La Vie Boheme" from Rent

Damned if Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Harry Potter) didn't defy the doubters—he adapted Broadway's funk-fest musical Rent to the big screen successfully. And two production numbers dance on in the memory long after the end credits roll.

"The Tango Maureen"—in which the filmmaker ex-boyfriend of impulsive performance artist Maureen warns of her volatility, unpredictability (and sexual adventurousness) via a tango with Maureen's new straighter-laced girlfriend—is a dazzlingly crafted number. It's a rainshower of infectious rhythm, lush imagery, comic dance and blackout-peppered pauses that perfectly executes what a number in a musical should: It propels the narrative forward with an entertaining whoosh.

Say the same for "La Vie Boheme," performed by nearly the entire cast atop tables in a neighborhood bar.

Jet Li, Unleashed

In this unexpectedly intelligent and much-underrated actioner, Li is cast as "Danny the Dog," a brainwashed fighter enslaved by a Glasgow loan shark (Bob Hoskins). When Danny escapes, a blind piano tuner (Morgan Freeman) and his stepdaughter (Kerry Condon) take him in and teach him to be human. Li out-Gumps Tom Hanks here with his tender, uncertain gropings at everyday rituals (dining at a table, eating ice cream) and his vicious, tormented glare when aroused. Freeman and Hoskins were also deserving of awards, which makes the fact that Li shines out in their company all the more impressive.

Val Kilmer, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

If gay men are looking for role models in cinema, forget the cowboys or the self-absorbed writer and check out Kilmer's detective Gay Perry: tough, whip-smart and hilariously sarcastic. And yet he has a human side, angry at the viciousness of the world, and with a tiny, warm soft spot for dumb saps who need his help. Kilmer has often been a terrific actor (see The Doors, Tombstone and Heat), and he has now returned to form.

Fireworks in Land of the Dead

Masters of the horror genre tend to have difficult second acts. They get pigeonholed into one single genre, then, when they get older, studios buy up their classic films for remakes and younger, less talented filmmakers go through the same motions for larger paychecks. The great George A. Romero triumphantly returned this year with the fourth in his zombie series begun all the way back in 1968 with Night of the Living Dead. Many upstarts have tapped into the zombie film in recent years, and they all slavishly copy the rules that Romero established. Now, with the American class system as violently splintered as ever (with the zombies themselves making up the new lower class), Romero adds a new rule to the book: Zombies can be distracted by fireworks. Upstarts take note.

As Willie Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"Uh, you really shouldn't mumble, because I can't understand a word you're saying."

"Mumbler! Seriously, I cannot understand a word you're saying! Mumbler!"

Jessica Alba, Sin City

Jessica Alba is so gorgeous she makes men weep, women gasp and hamsters stop running in their wheels. The mere concept of Alba as a cowboy stripper caused more tents to be pitched than at the 2005 National Scout Jamboree. But Frank Miller and Roberto Rodriguez should be made to go nine rounds with Marv for not showing us even a hint of what we've been lusting after ever since Dark Angel first aired.

The Aristocrats

This film was unjustly left out of the Oscar nominations for Best Documentary, but no other film in 2005 took such a seemingly crude and unsophisticated topic and made it into something so insightful and interesting. More importantly, creators Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette did so without skimping on the incredibly vivid and unimaginably vulgar language that makes up the heart of the joke their movie explores.

Michelle Monaghan, Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang

Michelle Monaghan is about to be all over multiplexes as Tom Cruise's love interest in Mission: Impossible III, and those few of us who saw her in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang know that she's destined to be a huge star. Monagahan's performance in Shane Black's madcap action comedy showcased her deft comedic timing, emotional maturity and ability to go toe-to-toe with acting veterans Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. It also proved she could kick some butt, a trait which she'll no doubt put to good use alongside Cruise's Ethan Hunt.

Composer John Williams

As in most years, this award goes to the 74-year-old composer. With his music accompanying the wildly varying images and storylines of Star Wars Episode III, War of the Worlds, Memoirs of a Geisha and Munich (as well as the Harry Potter theme in the boy wizard's latest adventure), chances are if you saw a movie this year, you heard a John Williams score. Apparently, filmmakers are determined to get as much new music out of him as possible before he's too old to lift that baton.

Robert Rodriguez, The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D

"Based on the dreams and stories" of Rodriguez' 7-year-old son, Racer, these characters belonged in a crude crayon sketch that would find its home on the refrigerator door rather than in theaters nationwide. But armed with George Lucas' lightweight digital camera and a filming process that allowed him to conveniently shoot all of Sin City in a studio across the street from his Texas home, Rodriguez threw together this silly mess for his little boy. Lucky kid. Not so lucky us.

Tom Cruise

By a landslide vote, this award goes to Cruise for his portrayal of a hyper, ranting, preachy, aggressive, love-crazed, Scientologist whacko in ... wait—that wasn't a movie! Yes, the media has poked a lot of fun at poor Tom, but we promise this will be the last time ... at least until he speaks again. But it's really his own fault. You know he only starred in one movie this year? And yet he seemed to be on TV every day. Only Tom Cruise can make publicity more memorable than an alien invasion.

Josh Bell will make his Oscar picks Friday at 5 p.m. on The Steve Bornfeld Experience on KNUU 970-AM/knews970.com.