Lara Croft has become that girl you once dated but have forgotten why. It was great in the beginning, but it always is. Then, over the course of five increasingly cheesy and irritating sequels, the relationship began to sour. And when Angel of Darkness came out in 2003, it was definitely time to break up.
Now Lara's back, and you have to admit she looks good (especially on Xbox 360). More importantly, all those nagging quirks and control issues that plagued the end of the affair are gone, and it even looks like the Prince of Persia has taught her a few new moves (but don't be jealous). The clever puzzles and spirit of wondrous exploration are back, and it'll remind you why you fell for Tomb Raider in the first place.
Still, I probably won't be dating Lara again. She doesn't quite reinvent herself, so it's still the familiar tomb-raiding formula, and there's still some baggage. But she's back in good form, so we could definitely be friends.
2006 FIFA WORLD CUP by EA SPORTS (3.5 stars)
Platforms: PlayStation 2, Xbox, Xbox 360.
Rated: E.
Last year's FIFA '06 was one of the best games of soccer you can play while still using your hands. It even gave Konami's Winning Eleven franchise a run for its money. And with a larger scope, World Cup would be even better, if it didn't suffer frequent frame-rate issues. Whenever too many players clump together, it's as though they collectively suffer leg cramps.
RAMPAGE: TOTAL DESTRUCTION by MIDWAY (2 stars)
Platforms: PlayStation 2, GameCube.
Rated: E10+.
I have this theory that when a person stands in front of an arcade machine, he inadvertently locks his knees, cutting off circulation to the brain. That's the only way I can explain anyone's affinity for Rampage in the '80s. So, sitting comfortably in front of your TV at full cognitive capacity, it's painfully clear that even with glossy new graphics, a game where monsters punch buildings and nothing else happens has limited appeal.
BRAIN AGE: TRAIN YOUR BRAIN IN MINUTES A DAY! by NINTENDO (3.5 stars)
Platform: Nintendo DS.
Rated: E.
Solving math problems and reading excerpts from The Scarlett Letter may not be everyone's idea of fun, but this title's brain-teasing time trials are surprisingly addictive. I'm not sure a daily Sudoku puzzle will really rejuvenate your brain, but if you can look at the word red, colored in black, and say black instead of red, you'll feel like a legitimate genius.
Matthew Scott Hunter has been known to mumble, "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start" in his sleep. E-mail him at
[email protected].