A+E

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Or, Must We Put Philip Roth on Trial Before He'll Get the Nobel?

Not surprisingly, the Nobel Prize for Literature went to Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk last week. He recently beat serious charges in his homeland that he had "denigrated the Turkish state," a free-speech victory the Nobel committee likes. More importantly, he has written tremendous, beautiful novels about Istanbul. It's a great choice. But for Americans, this drought of literary glory—dating back to Toni Morrison's selection 13 years ago—is beginning to parch. Is Philip Roth's achievement less important than, say, that of Elfriede Jelinek (2004)? No, but the U.S. makes up just 1/20th of the world's population, so, statistically at least, we're not quite due yet. Between Morrison (1993) and Saul Bellow (1976) there were 17 years, and 14 between Bellow and John Steinbeck (1962). The last American explosion was 1936-1954, when five U.S. writers won.

As the sole superpower, America expects to sweep global competitions. But among recent Nobel choices have been many voices of resistance, from Dario Fo to Gao Xingjian, whose books are still banned in China. At the moment, our government is perceived around the world—and rightly so—as an imperialist behemoth. So Roth might have to kick Uncle Sam's shins a little harder if he wants to win.

The PITCH: The presence of a KNPR mug—free with your membership!—will let co-workers know you are a source for quality "office banter." The specific conversational topic cited? A recent NPR report on "lagging development in Africa."

PLAUSIBLE watercooler SCENARIO: "Hey, guys! Never mind the latest lonelygirl15 video, what do you think about the efforts by Zimbabwean resorts to win back tourists who were scared away by dictator Robert Mu ... ga ... be ... guys? Guys?"

Conclusion: When it comes to African macroeconomics, no one likes a know-it-all. Nice mug, though.

Idea-a-day.com will send suggestions for creating a better world, as submitted by average people:

>> Formulate house paint that gives off hallucinogens while drying. Watching paint dry would become a favorite pastime. (Submitted by David W)

>> Devise a television series that aims to determine the nature of evil. The series would spend less time on the more obvious examples, such as murder, but would focus on more oblique areas—is gossip evil? How many people buy cheap goods knowing they might be stolen? (Anya Thorsteinsdottir)

>> Appoint a member of airline staff who, in times of delays or general poor service, should be dressed up in a padded sumo suit so that frustrated passengers can vent their fury towards the airline in a physical manner. (Dr. Marc) >> Develop a "bad breath" spray. This could be particularly useful at the end of a bad date, helping the user avoid a good-night kiss and, hopefully, future calls. (Julinda)

>> Hold a lottery every four years where a new city hosts the national government. The city will provide a new HQ and the nation's leaders would have to live in the city for the term. (Clark Edwards)

1 vs. 100: This new game show pits a lone contestant against 100 brainiacs—neurosurgeons, Deal or No Deal models—in answering impossibly tough questions. (Sample: What singer's name did Steve Carell shout during the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin? See, impossibly tough.) Still, entertaining. (3 1/2 stars)

Canfield's Diet Chocolate Fudge (Low-Calorie, Artificially Flavored Chocolate Soda): Blech. (1/2 star)

Rolling Stone's Hot List: For 20 years, this roundup of pop-cultural hotness has been a moderately useful guide to stuff you missed while distracted by real life. This year, despite a few clever coinages ("emorexia": the emaciation of sensitive boy singers), the list disappoints. Anyone making a modest effort to keep up with the A and the E is already clued in to most of this. (2 stars)